news from oneida - news from oneida - news from oneida - news from oneida
"AT THE KAT AND MICK REPORT WE DON'T MAKE THE NEWS, WE JUST REPORT IT"
COLDEST TURKEY BOWL ON RECORD DRAWS RECORD CROWD
December 1, 2002
Temperatures were in the mid 30's at kickoff for this years Turkey Bowl but the hearts of the people who attended were warm with excitement. Scores of people lined the sidelines and some sampling by THE KAT AND MICK REPORT revealed that people from all over the nation attended the event with visitors from Illinois, Ohio, and Tennessee in attendance.
People kept moving about and cheering to keep warm and of course the players themselves were comfortable in the frigid environment, the officials however were dressed so warmly they were unable to bend over to pick up flags dropped for penalties causing many irregularities to go overlooked. Injuries were kept to a minimum with
LOYAL XPFL FAN MARIE KROHN FIGHTS BITTER COLD TO SEE THE TURKEY BOWL
Adam Meeusen suffering a cut to the hand and Justin Sobieck a back injury in the last play of the game with the Blue Jell-O's trying to make a comeback in the remaining minute. The Red Gobbler cheer leaders were fit for action cheering the whole game, while the Blue Jell-O cheer leaders were somewhat more laid back with shouting cheers only in the beginning of the game. Blue Jell-O cheerleader Rae Poquette sporting high heels spent much of the game in her lawn chair nursing her aching peds.
Some changes were talked about with the cheerleaders, along with the mandatory drinking and voluntary smoking that takes place at games and practices, voluntary tobacco chewing will
SOME CHEERLEADERS WOULD RATHER CHEW THEN SMOKE
now apparently be allowed. The lack of available starting devices to light cigs at the game has spawned this latest request. The league, with the stipulation that if a cheerleader were caught spitting on the field instead of the garbage can the privilege would be revoked, granted the request.
CHICKEN NIGHT NEWS
A last hurrah at the former Chicken Night gathering spot of Cliff and Ceils yielded a plethora of participants and prompted a setup of 5 tables in the dining room, a situation that has never occurred at the east side Chicken Night. location.
A record 28 people were on hand for the gathering with the queen welcoming guests visiting from out of town who attended the Turkey Bowl the previous day and decided to stay in town for the weekend.
A RECORD 5 TABLE NIGHT
The Kat, attempting to start a food fight, was throwing food at the queen in protest of some overlooked protocol. The Queen in her dignity did not respond to the gesture. The Kat being a finicky eater rejected all of her food in favor of a saucer of milk. The major news of the night broke when Rosalie Poquette announced that her male acquaintance Ron was no longer a hurtle to overcome to other gentleman callers. Whether Ron left of his own free will or was forcefully ejected by "Rosie the Riveter" is something we will probably never know, what was clear however was Rosie and Peter gravitating toward each other for the remainder of the weekend.
There is some talk around about a New Years eve party, but no details as of yet. The KAT AND MICK REPORT will follow up and report when we have the facts. That's all the news that is news, see ya.
December 8, 2002
SHELLY SOBIECK TO GIVE BIRTH AGAIN
Even though Shelly Sobieck is in the twilight years of her life, she still continues the normal reproductive functions of a woman half of her age. Sobieck, who spent years finding the right man for the job, now is quickly
becoming a baby factory with her poor husband as the lone employee. With no complaints from spousal unit Joel, this rampant reproduction my carry on to the next decade. The Sobiecks who chose the female of the species, Ella, as their first reproduction may now be trying for a boy on their second attempt at reproducing. Soon additions may be added on to the Sobieck domicile to accommodate the new family members, much the same a factory that adds a
SHELLY SOBIECK - PLANT MANAGER OF HOBART BABY FACTORY
new production line and needs to expand the warehouse to store the new products. This, I'm sure would please the Hobart tax assessor who would revel in jacking up the taxes of people that really need the money. It has been rumored that Hobart is thinking of adding a conception tax, the way this would work is that any child conceived in Hobart would be automatically noted on your property taxes and a flat fee charged. The fees are different for each sex with boys at $25.00 and girls at $50.00, the difference in fees apparently because of higher maintenance for the females, excess garbage and the like. Hospitals would be required to inform the Village when a resident has the child. All Hobart citizens will pay whether the child was actually conceived in Hobart or not, visitors who conceive in Hobart will also pay. Visitors are to report their conception report directly to the Hobart Village Office; visitors who conceive and don't report can expect a visit from the Hobart Police and will be taken into custody. The fee will be paid as well as a healthy fine levied by the Hobart Court. With all this action going on the Sobiecks may want to think again about extending their family past these two.
It is official the New Years Eve party is a go and it will be at the Hobart Town Hall! It starts at 8:00PM and goes until ??? Once again it's a BYOB party and everyone is guaranteed to have a great time. Snacks and food will be on hand and Music by yours truly.
It is deep regret that we inform you that Lola Sobieck will be leaving Humana. Lola, whom we all knew as the local campaign manager for the Nixon election committee, went into business management after leaving politics. After leading successful companies for a number of years Lola eventually climbed to the top, leading one of the nations
largest insurance companies, Humana. Sobieck was instrumental in changing the name from Employers to Humana by insisting that her favorite character on the Ed Sullivan Show was Hose Humana, in fact she was in love with him and she wanted some thing to
CEO SOBIECK AT THE COMPANY PICNIC
to remind her of him every day when she came to work. It seems that Sobieck admired many of the male staffers at her workplace, while THE KAT AND MICK REPORT was unable to produce any proof of sexual harassment cases, many people off the record were able to tell us that while Sobieck was the CEO of Humana, many young men climbed the management ladder with unprecedented speed. Many of these young men were also seen coming from Sobiecks office after long hours with instructions to the secretary, who was also a young man, to hold all calls. With many CEO's now leaving the office in hand cuffs for being dishonest and cheating investors Sobieck is lucky to be just asked to leave. The official press release states that Sobieck will retire after years of loyal service. One must ask the question, what kind of service was performed and who received and who performed this service. While Sobieck is old she has many good years of leadership service left in her; one wonders what or who is Sobiecks next target. That's all the news that is news, see ya.
December 15, 2002
ZUES FALLS DOWN STAIRS - BREAKS NECK
Sue Wenzel, also known as Zeus, was attending a Christmas party Friday at the Sports Corner in De Pere for the staff of San Louis Manor, her place of employment, where she consumed mass quantities of alcohol. Reports from the incident indicate Zeus became combative and out of control at about 11:30 PM and it was thought by her sister Peg and boyfriend Tony that it would be best if she were taken home where she could sleep it off.
ZUES WITH BOYFRIEND TONY
Zeus resisted and became abusive to those trying to assist her and lost her balance on the main stairs and fell. This was not the fall that broke her neck, when she reached the doorway to leave the establishment where everyone was waiting
for Tony to bring the car around; Zeus lurched backwards and broke away from Peg who was keeping her in check. Behind Zeus was a sign marking what rooms had certain festivities, behind the sign was an open stairs to the basement. Zeus rode the sign down the stairs and crashed her head onto the cement floor. When her party reached her, her head was buried in her shoulder and she was trying to get up! Peg knew that something was seriously wrong just by taking one look at her and immediately told her not to move, she still insisted on getting up! Dan VanLanen was pressed into service now and ordered to keep her down by what ever method he needed; he was forced to kneel on her stomach until rescue people arrived. Zeus continued to be combative with rescue personnel and hospital staff until the next day. After examination and x-rays doctors determined that Zeus had indeed broken her neck in three places, surgery was discussed and a decision was made on Saturday that it was not necessary. The doctor told Zeus that he recommends the wearing of a halo device to keep her head stable during her recovery, which she quickly decided she would not wear and abruptly told the doctor. The last word from the hospital was that she was in a room of her own and out of intensive care and asleep, she is lying flat on her back and not allowed to move. She complained about back pain and was given pain medication for it, which probably made her fall asleep. One thing is for sure, this is one Friday the 13th she will not forget for some time and if Zeus does attend the New Years Eve party she probably won't be dancing to Rocky Top.
Friday December 13 was also the appointed night of the annual "Fat Club" Christmas party which was to be held at Cliff and Ceils. So I'm not sure if this is Chicken Night News or Fat Club News, never the less attendance was poor for either event. Three actual Fat Club members and their husbands showed up with the Queen of Chicken Night also on hand. The evening was uneventful aside from the fact that Trixie Jeanie, and the Kat were all legally drunk and then some. The Kat who declined food had a liquid supper, and I don't mean her usual saucer of milk, Malibu on the rocks which went through her pouch and into her bloodstream faster then an intervenes Gin drip. We stopped at the Sports Corner for a while before the unfortunate accident with Zeus where she loaded more Malibu into her gullet. Needless to say twice on the way home I had to pull over so she could hang her head out the door. The Kat complained about having a queasy pouch all day Saturday.
CHICKEN NIGHT NEWS
Christmas Eve this year will again be at our house (Mike and Kathy's) and festivities begin at 6PM and end when the last person goes home. With no adult choir singing at midnight Mass this year those who normally left to sing in the choir will no doubt hang around for the entire evening. Those attending should bring a dish to pass and meat and potatoes will be provided by the hosts. The Kat is planning to cook two big Hillshire skinless shank less hams to the point where they are so tender they melt in your mouth. Mmmm my mouth is watering already. There should be plenty of adult beverages on hand for sampling and as always this is a BYOB party. Highlights of the Turkey Bowl will be presented on the small screen in the living room while Christmas Music will be enjoyed by the fireplace in the sun room. All in all it promises to be an enjoyable evening.
Once Christmas is over we are then looking at another new year upon us, Trixie is planning a New Years Eve party at the Hobart Town Hall to kick it off and everyone is invited. The party starts at 8PM and will go until the cows come home. With a new year starting soon we can look forward to another year of events and changes starting with this web-site. A new look for the index page and some changes to the rest of the site are in order as well as new features and pages, THE KAT AND MICK REPORT is looking forward to 2003 and I hope you are looking forward to reading these pages in the new year as well.
That's all the news that is news, see ya.
THE FAT CLUB NEWS
December 22, 2002
TREMLS TO HAVE THIRD CHILD
Scott and Judy are now expecting a new bundle of joy in July of 03 and are both happy about it. Judy was not expecting the news and thought that there may have been a problem, but a visit to the doctor yielded the expectant mother news. The doctor tested her for diabetes and other diseases prior to the pregnancy test thus leading one to believe that his first thought was not of a baby either. A relief for Judy to find out that there is nothing wrong and her plumbing is all working and hooked up right yet. Scott also speaks of his potency in a favorable manor, boasting "there's no blanks' being shot here".
Megan Krueger also known as simply Megadeth, has been having great trouble with her automobile, it seems that there has been trouble with the brakes, exhaust and tires. One particular annoying episode involved the failure of the brakes and of the engine in rapid succession right on Packerland Ave.
Megadeth and friend were forced to leave the comfort of the vehicle and push it off the road allowing traffic to flow normally on the busy street. Megadeth is planning a fund raising campaign to purchase a better automobile. Among the ideas she has come up with are; putting out labeled collection cans in neighborhood stores and
business, a benefit at one of the local halls, a telethon, door to door solicitation, telephone solicitation in the evenings, and a weekly radio program.
Stephanie Prevost has accepted a job at the Family Violence Center and has left AMS after less then a year of employment at the insurance facility. Prevost found the work at AMS not to her liking and preferred a job working with people over paper work. After many years working for Oneida Tribe of Indians Prevost opted for a job at AMS
looking for growth and possibly moving up the ladder into management, things that were not on the table at Oneida. With Oneida and AMS behind her she can concentrate on helping families learn how to be violent to each other without leaving those annoying marks. Studies have shown that in the last decade families have become more and more complacent and less physical, choosing discussion and
STEPHANIE PREVOST TEACHES FAMILY VIOLENCE
negotiation over violence. As we all know this is just wrong, brothers and sisters should be punching, kicking, and pulling hair, moms and dads should be whacking their teenage kids around and not talking to them at all! When will people learn that talking and negotiation will never work, only violence is the true answer.
Little is known about the condition of Zeus since her release from the hospital on Wed. of this week. She did eventually consent to the so called "halo" contraption to hold her head straight, and her demeanor was reduced to the equivalent of a kitten upon her discharge from the hospital. Apparently the embarrassing event has caused her to withdraw and cut off all contact with family and media.
ZEUS AWAITS THE WORD TO GO HOME AFTER THE HALO IS INSTALLED
New Years Eve is the last big party of the year at the Hobart Town Hall and is probably the last party we will see for some time. With no graduations this spring in the families or no weddings planned gatherings will be at a premium this upcoming 2003. We may have to wait until Halloween to party again, never-the-less, we will be partying on New Years Eve starting at 8PM. There will be adult refreshments, food, music and dancing with a few games thrown in for good measure. Hope to see you there. That's all the news that is news, see ya.
December 29, 2002
CHRISTMAS EVE CELEBRATION VISITED BY ZEUS EVEN WHILE IN GREAT PAIN
With all the smiles she could muster, Zeus made an appearance at the annual Christmas Eve get together at the Pickett household. Clad in attire consistent with people in her condition Zeus sat by the fireplace and exchanged Christmas cheer with people and accepted a donation jar put out by well wishers at the party.
Even though noise and movement vibrate right through her halo device and into her head, Zeus never let on that any of that bothered her. The Christmas ham and adult beverages were consumed with fervor and Trixie and Jeanie who affirm their belief in Santa
Claus once again were showing the photo of their likeness shown with the jolly old elf. Highlights of the Turkey Bowl were shown in the living room by Brandon with live comment. A head count of 55 people concluded attendance was down from the previous year of 63 with no particular reason being identified for the shortfall.
ZEUS VISITS ON CHRISTMAS EVE EVEN IN GREAT PAIN
JEANIE AND TRIXIE VISIT SANTA AGAIN
Brandon is also now a member of the million dollar club at ICP, achieving the goal by selling over the million per year average per month several months in a row. A trophy was given to him during the company Christmas party in a small ceremony to mark the occasion. Brandon is entering his 4th year of employment with the company and has his goals
set on being the top salesmen. He is also a partner in BJ's Jeans and More on S. Military Ave, where Brandon says sales still continue to grow.
Popcorn will flow freely this New Years Eve due to a generous gift from Dave Poquette. A commercial popcorn popper, 50# of popcorn, and a gallon of popping oil
were received by the Kat and Myself for use at parties and events as a gift and an answer to the call for people to contribute to the purchase of the machine by Kat and Trixie run in a former newsletter. This means popcorn
(full of carbohydrates) will flow freely to anyone who requests it New Years Eve. Dave who now is unable to eat carbohydrates due to his being diagnosed with diabetes will not partake in the popcorn madness that is sure to occur.
POPCORN WILL FLOW FREELY NOW AT PARTIES
Once again the New Years Eve Party starts at 8PM and has no end time at the Hobart Town Hall, on the corner of Florist Drive and GE or Pine Tree Road. It's BYOB and Snacks, Music and Dancing will be provided. Some games and prizes are sure to also unfold as the night progresses. The KAT AND MICK REPORT will cover the event with a full report in next Sunday's newsletter. That's all the news that is news, see ya.