Newsletter

ven before most people are beginning to think about when ground hog day is and whether the odd looking rodent will have his breakfast on the patio or in his kitchen that day, spring has beat them to the punch and has usurped nature ignoring all the protocol appearing in grand fashion. Temperatures in Oneida this week were in the 60'S leaving the snow pack all but gone. Spring showers have set in which began on Saturday early afternoon and continued through the evening swelling the ditches as culverts are still filled with ice and snow. The rain should subside today bringing sunny sky's and warm temperatures again to the Town of Oneida. Residents of the Village of Hobart, north of Oneida, are not as lucky with forecasters predicting snow for this afternoon and tonight, winter has not released it's grip on Hobart as of yet. Residents of the Town of Oneida cheated out of their regular Ground Hog Day festivities plan to substitute the regular event with a cock fighting competition held in the same area and of course wagering will also be permitted just as it would have been for Ground Hog Day.

SARAH POQUETTE STARTS NEW JOB

Sarah Poquette will be the representative for a company selling home air cleaning devices in the Green Bay area. Poquette who is best known for her wiccan activities in the Oneida area has accepted the job offer even though she admits it will leave little additional time for her supernatural duties. Even though Poquette has had no previous selling experience she is sure to be successful in the business. Unsuspecting customers are charmed into purchasing the device after a secret spell is cast on them while they are turned away from Poquette and looking at the product. Poquette says " I can make money selling stuff and still keep my Wiccan skills sharp". The one time chairwomen of the local wiccan club of the Oneida area is hoping to return to the seat, abandoned because of her busy schedule, once she has climbed higher on the sales pyramid and can sit back and rake in the revenues new salesmen generate for her. Before her sales job she worked as a waitress at a local restaurant not giving her much opportunity to use her wiccan skills. Poquette would often complain to relatives "The only time I get to cast a spell is when we have a customer complain a lot otherwise Grandma (of Grandma's Cafe) gets on my case for giving the customers bad luck." Many times customers leaving the restaurant could be seen falling on the ice (in the summer) or getting into an accident pulling out of the parking lot, just several of the unexplained events while Poquette was in the employ of the eating establishment. Restaurant patrons can now visit the eatery without fear of retribution should they complain of cold coffee. That's all the news that is news, see ya.

he out of work but upbeat Tim Lade now has two job offers to consider for his future revenue earning potential. The first offer is from a local insurance company and he would be asked to explain to old gaffers, on the phone, the risks and benefits of Medicare D plans. The company sells supplemental insurance plans to potential customers opting for the D plan. While this does sound like a glamorous job and an offer too good to pass up Lade did not jump at it because of a small wrinkle not yet mentioned. The employer offering the job is AMS insurance the same company that his wife, Joanne is employed at. The mere thought of having to spend 24 hours a day with the same women shuttered through his body as he considered the consequences of being forced to sit next door to his true love should a twist of fate allow that scenario to play out. He still may accept the job knowing that, but has opted to accept a later shift working from 2 PM to 10:30 PM. He has not yet given them the word that he will accept the offer while waiting to get the details of a second offer on the table from NWTC. This job entails some teaching on his part and would be considered a part time job. The job title is facilitator, an impressive term and is by all standards defined as a person who teaches seminars and short courses. Lade did not have a great deal of details about the offer but is intending to find out more. Some things he needs to know are; hours of work, is there a benefit package, and will he be allowed to have students wash his car.

The job offers couldn't have come at a better time for the cash strapped Lades. Tim has been out of work since November when his departure from EDL took place. With reserve funds decreasing the couple along with Tim's father who lives with them considered cutting expenses, selling the house, and living in their car in the Wal-Mart parking lot. With the two job offers fortunately they will not have to enact such a radical plan, only Tim's father will have to move into the car, which can stay parked in the driveway.

THE QUEEN MAKES IT INTO GOOGLE

Jean Poquette Hansen long known as "The Queen of Chicken Night" has won notoriety in the prestigious search engine GOOGLE. Hansen, who loves the glamour and perks of being famous indeed enjoys her new found fame. Since her emergence into the public eye as the Queen on this, THE NEWSLETTER, Hansen has had numerous people stop her on the street asking "Hey, aren't you the Queen of Chicken Night?" Hansen nods and says; yes thank you, then breaks out a sharpie from her royal purse and offers to autograph something for one of her would be subjects. Many offer a scrap of paper or a shoe for her royal signature, others abruptly walk away, chuckling. The Queens listing in the search engine can be seen by clicking GOOGLE.

There's a new Birthday Page out, and S. Lyle OConnor has spit out a new Unsportsmanlike Comment for your reading pleasure, be sure to check them both. That's all the news that is news, see ya.