Newsletter

Although it's been some time since the pile in the alley behind Megan Krueger's house grew in size, it has claimed yet another broken and battered boys heart in Megan's ever increasing quest for her romantic soul mate. In an interview last Sunday Krueger was asked if there were any plans in her future to add to the pile of broken hearted boys in the back and she replied without hesitation and in a commanding tone "there will be no plans to get a new boyfriend, and no I will not dump my boyfriend and let Brittany (Megadeth's cousin) have him just for the sake of adding to the pile of broken hearts." Yet one week later in a stunning turn around Krueger does just what she said she would not do, but it is not known if Brittany will snap up Krueger's fallen knight or if she will continue to keep adding time to the relationship she is keeping which will inevitably will end the same way. As was reported in the past the two harlots are known for breaking the hearts of many boys in an assembly line fashion as a sort of cruel hobby. The two have competed in the past with small wagers placed as to who's pile could grow higher by the following weeks end. Krueger who had fallen behind miserably for some time by keeping the same male companion seemed as though she would be dropping out of the contest in favor of a long term relationship. Brittany Sobieck who saw what was happening also took a sabbatical from the games as she has kept the same boyfriend for the last 6 months. It now looks as though the games will continue, so lets sit back and watch the show. Who will make the next move? I have even heard talk that the Kat has struck a deal with Dave Krueger to have Megan "taken off the market" for some time, as it were, until Alex returns from the Air Force. Alex, when asked about the suggested arrangement replied "Megan's hot !"

Last Sunday was the graduation party held in the honor of Christine Meewsen and Kelly Wenzel. The party began in the early afternoon and lasted well into the evening hours, much enjoyment was had as people warmed themselves in the sun and enjoyed the newly renewed summer weather. Several games of volleyball and bocce ball were enjoyed by the younger guests while the older attendees grazed on the buffet table that was set up the whole day with such delectable delights as bratwurst, hamburgers, and hot dogs. Of course there was free beer which was consumed by the younger crowd and was exhausted by early evening. Much to the dismay those who threw the party and party goers alike the beer tap handle was stolen from the cooler / trailer that housed the beer. Whitey and Jules Cornelius were present as security and were watching for just such an occurrence. They quickly sprang into action donning their black turbans and kidnapping an intoxicated Boucher sitting near by. They then announced while holding a sword near the neck of the unfortunate soul that he would be beheaded in 1 hour if the beer tap was not returned. We will never know if they would have made good on the threat as the beer tap mysteriously showed up just a couple of minutes before the deadline, the young Boucher just beginning to understand what was going to happen to him should the tap not be returned. Most of the people from the Suamico area were horrified by the hostage taking event citing civil rights violations of the hostage and the criminality of it all. The people attending from the Oconto area seemed comfortable with the action taken as if it was a common occurrence and some even encouraged the group calling for the execution to begin after only 30 minutes while shouting jeers at the hostage. Later after the excitement died down I managed to get an exclusive interview with the hostage takers who refused to remove their black turbans and scarf's shouting out that it was the only thing preserving their identity and perhaps saving them from discovery by the authorities. They must not have realized that everyone saw them put on the scarf's and turbans.

Good news for Turkey Bowl V ! Colleen Poquette reports that she transplanted the tree that was invading the east side of Poquette Field 10 feet to the east so that now when we line the field we will have 5 feet from any tree to the sideline. Good job Colleen! I have not yet spoken to the Commissioner but I'm sure he will be as elated as I am at learning this fact. It was almost certain that said tree was going to come to horrific end, accidentally of course, if it were not moved. That's all the news that is news, see ya.

Though Logan Sobieck has reached the age of puberty his body is still finding it’s own true form. At one time you would have been hard pressed to believe that the tough talking and hard boiled exterior of the leader of the Oneida Posse could be anything less then all American male. Recent developments it the north woods of Wisconsin have suggested otherwise as Sobieck dons women’s clothing and makeup to make himself more appealing as if testing the waters to see if he can actually attract members of his own gender for a quiet boat ride in a secluded portion of the Lake. Sobieck who has admired his aunt Zeus for many years has patterned his makeover after the tall, short hair blonde look made popular by the recluse from Oconto with the exception of his larger breast size. Zeus who has made little or no comment about the boy in the past could not be reached for comment about the makeover. It is unclear as to why Sobieck chose the north woods as the place to announce his change of sexuality, it is not even clear if he will even continue with this lifestyle when he returns home or if this is just what we can expect when he is away from the posse and up north on vacation. Other problems present themselves with the approaching school year, will Sobieck remain registered as a male or will his records be altered to show female? With Sports so important in the development of children, what teams will he play on, boys or girls? What locker room will he use? Although the exterior has been hammered out, mudded, and painted the plumbing is still the same, so perhaps the new West De Pere School has a special locker room in between the boys and girls to accommodate these types. I know he will rejected by the boys of the school, but will he be ostracize by the girls as well or will he be accepted and perhaps invited to be a cheerleader?

Next weeks NEWSLETTER will be delayed as I will be out of town and attending Rock-Fest again in Cadot, Wi. This years line up promises to present more variety then in recent years with Smash Mouth and Counting Crows performing on Thursday night. Other “first timers” will also be performing such as Huey Lewis and the News, and the Spin Doctors, with the festivities to be capped off by John Foggerty Sunday night. I hope to have a full report in the NEWSLETTER, Monday evening. That’s all the news that is news, see ya.