Thats right the hard to find Rock Fest VIP ticket is for sale right here. Going price is $400. That includes all your meals, and up front seating with the editor of THE KAT AND MICK REPORT. A reword in itself. For more information call Colleen at 869-1132 or Mike at 869-2368. You can also reach Colleen by e-mail email@example.com or Mike at firstname.lastname@example.org To see who's performing this year click here.
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KAT NEARLY CAUSES BAILEY PREVOSTS EARLY EXPIRATION
FAT CLUB KIDS STICK TOGETHER FOR LIFE
ROBOTS THAT WERE ONCE THE SCOURGE OF THE FLOWER INDUSTRY WAITING TO BE TURNED TO SCRAP
ADVANCED PREVIEW OF NEW MARTHA STEWERT PUBLICATION PLANNED FOR LATER THIS YEAR
The incident happened at the weekly fat club gathering at the Sobieck residence on Florist Drive. No florists live on Florist Drive any longer as they have been driven out of business by modern day green houses run by robots. A family of robots had moved in at the Florist Drive Greenhouse but later joined forces with another robot colony located near the airport to produce plants of higher quality. But due to complaints by Hobart residents of children being carried off by robots Oneida Police instructed scrap yard personal to dismember the robots and recycle them for scrap. The Mayflower Greenhouse as it is known now is run by an elderly Chinese family without the aid of robots. The Kat, who was watching Bailey briefly, while Judy the regular care giver went to relieve her bladder, inadvertently gave the boy a bagel which was peppered with nuts that he is allergic to. The child had not yet taken a bite of the unleavened bakery when Judy had returned and nearly caused grave injury to herself diving over kitchen furniture to retrieve the food when she saw it. The Kat at first denied that she had given the boy the deathly treat but recanted later that she had indeed known of the allergy but had forgotten about it when she gave the boy the food.
Martha Stewert has been convicted of crimes against the state and will pay the price very soon. She has said she will appeal the conviction but there is little chance of overturning what has already been done. Martha has known for some time that she had been facing such a dilemma and has created a new publication just for the occasion. THE KAT AND MICK REPORT has obtained an advanced preview of the new magazine cover and what the main articles are about. Please take a look at it on the right side of your page. There's a new birthday page to see as well as last weeks new entry to "Unsportsmanlike Comment" That's all the news that is news, see ya.
SPACE NEEDLE NOT ACTUALLY IN SPACE
March 21, 2004
Some of our readers already know that I along with several staffers of THE KAT AND MICK REPORT visited Seattle in October, but what most of you don't know there were ulterior motives for the trip. I had long suspected that the so called Seattle Space Needle did not actually extend into space as is claimed. One day of the trip was set aside just to determine if my hunch was correct. I had my mind pretty much made up as we visited the site that my calculations were correct and that the structure still remained in the zone around the earth called the atmosphere and did not actually leave the earths grip. After months of calculations and examination of photos taken from windows along with personal observation THE KAT AND MICK REPORT is willing to make the bold statement that other publications refuse to. The Seattle Space Needle is not actually in space and I can prove it, in spite of what you believe or what you have been told. I am certain that when this explosive story reaches key leaders in Washington heads will roll. Let me lay out the facts and you too will be calling for this chicanery to stop. First, upon reaching the top of the structure I expected to experience weightlessness which did seem to be happening but alas it was just the elevator stopping at the top floor. The elevator attendant muttered something about artificial gravity. Arriving at the observation deck I expected to see large windows where we could view breathtaking scenes. There were windows indeed, however other visitors had discovered a hatch at the rear of the room where apparently a Space Needle employee was supposed to watch and keep curiosity seekers away. When the person assigned to the watch stepped away for a few minutes someone opened the hatch and behold the presence of air! A sure sign this is not space, no vacuum! Another inescapable fact and perhaps the most convincing was when I visited the snack lounge. I carefully analyzed what everyone had on their snack tables and saw the usual snack foods, chips, candy, pizza, and fish popsicles. Most people were drinking soda, coffee, or bottled water. But what have we been told for years is the most popular drink in space? Tang of course! I scanned the entire crowd and looked at every table and NO TANG! I thought we would see communication satellites going by or the space station or maybe even see the Federation's starship Enterprise, but in the hour we were up there we saw nothing. Upon seeing this sham for myself I am outraged that the government perpetrates such a lie and demand the truth be told and the name changed to reflect the truth. I am convinced as I know you are now that the Space Needle is not in space and I demand that part of the name be dropped making it just "The Needle".
The Axis of Evil again was out in force to celebrate a birthday of one of their own. This time work was not called off and the entire day taken for the celebration. Stephanie Prevost the youngest member of the evil organization celebrated her birthday with the other two members at an undisclosed location. Prevost who is junior to the other members by a good 15 years is expected to pass the evil torch on to the next generation upon her reaching her evil retirement age. It is thought by this time the other members will have met their demise due to alcohol poisoning. That's all the news that is news, see ya.
SO CALLED "SPACE NEEDLE" AS IT STANDS TODAY
DOES NOT SEEM HIGH ENOUGH TO BE IN SPACE
IT SURE WOULDN'T SEEM TO ME YOU COULD SEE BUILDINGS FROM SPACE
AXIS OF EVIL YUCS IT UP AT ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR AN EVIL MEMBER