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March 28, 2004
    On Friday March 19 2004 an impromptu Chicken Night was held at the old site of many Chicken Nights mostly forgotten about, Cliff and Ceils.  In attendance were Trixie and Kevin Sobieck, Judy and Scott Treml, and of course the Queen of Chicken Night Jean Poquette Hansen along with her one remaining dependant Ben and James. The night began as many other familiar ones did with sloshing down beer and eating the free popcorn like it was the last batch that would be made for the rest of the month. Some sampled the cheese and crackers still others were brave enough to partake of the liver paste while the mummer from the dining room grew louder as people sat down to gulp down their greasy orders of chicken fish and French fries. As the bar room filled with drifters, travelers, and locals coming in from the cold for some ale and dinner a family with two small children appeared in the mix and seated themselves by the bar. Soon the children made their presence known to everyone in the bar as they ran screaming from their parents going farther and farther every time until they were making the circle all the way around the bar. The Queen already irritated by the uncontrolled children could be seen frequently pointing and whispering something to her footman, James; one could speculate that she wished something accidental to happen to the children. The children continued the screaming and rude behavior for some time oblivious as were the parents to the disgust of many patrons of the bar including the Queen. The whole thing came to a "screeching" halt when the children singled out the Queen, crouched behind her and began the shrieking again as if they were caught in a bear trap that was chained to the Queens stool. As quickly as she could command her already alcohol ridden body the Queen spun around in her stool and reprimanded the children spouting "That's enough." As if on cue the children took off running to the parents complaining of the evil Queen who spoke harshly to them. The mother of the children finished with the wash from her boilermaker and approached to Queen for a sarcastic apology, but the Queen still with her wits about her would have none of that and quickly ordered the banishment of the family from the land of Chicken Night proclaiming to the mother in a snarling voice "get away from me" and did not accept the counterfeit apology. As the woman spun around and left for the dining room the Queen instructed James her footman that she never wanted to see that woman again at Chicken Night.

    Joyce Perock who was at one time the head cheerleader for the XPFL has returned from a trip to Cancun even more tanned then she was before. Perock who was a firm believer in the daily ritual of performing kegals kept up the routine even while on vacation. Her husband, Thurston, of less then a year kept track of the totals and also was vigilant that she took her medication every day.

    Brandon and Clara took a spring break and visited the nation's capitol. The Washington Monument, Holocaust Museum, and a first hand view of the Presidents motorcade were some of the attractions seen by the couple. Clara who is a dead ringer for Paris Hilton was approached by several people asking for autographs.

    This summer promises to host a number of parties including one for Brittany Sobieck honoring her graduation from high school. While most grad parties are a nice get together many are, well, ho hum. Brittany's promises to be a great time as there is to be a main exhibition that will draw the crowd together. It has not yet been announced if wagering will be allowed but frankly I don't see how anyone will be able to stop the betting once it gets started and you can bet your paycheck it will get started. You see the Kat and Stephanie have agreed to engage in a mud wrestling competition for the amusement of the audience. That's right a good old fashioned hair pulling, eye scratching, arm biting, head dunking mud wrestling fight. May the best mud wrestler win! More news about this as it becomes available. That's all the news that is news, see ya.

kat and mick photo
kat and mick photo
kat and mick photo
We'll keep our eye

   on it for you!
April 4, 2004
    An early call for the Oneida Fire Dept. Sunday morning resulted in little damage for the owner of a wood chip pile in the western most part of the township. Firefighters were awoke at 4:35 AM and responded to the Performance Pallet Company on County C and EE for a fire in the mulch pile located on the back part of the property. Employees of the company also responded and assisted with the company's pay loader to disperse the pile and separate the burning material from the rest of the pile. A high hoe was called in to break the pile down even more and check for hot spots in other areas. The fire was noticed by an employee and truck driver who came in early to pick up a load only to find the mulch pile on fire. Firemen left the scene at 6:30 AM. Most of the mulch pile was saved and only a small part of one corner sustained water damage. Spontaneous combustion is considered the cause and is not of a suspicious nature and is not under investigation.

    Excitement is building for the grudge match between The Kat and Stephanie over almost giving Bailey (Stephanie's offspring) peanut butter to which he is allergic.  As you know if you read last weeks column that The Kat and Stephanie plan to square off May 29th at Brittany's graduation party in a mud wrestling match that is sure to be a spectacle that we will soon not forget. Special dirt is being mined for the event from near the Seymour area to be mixed with soft water from Oneida wells to form gelatinous type of mud that tends to hold down unfortunate wrestlers who fall into it. Kevin is planning to run a warm tempered water line to the back of the building to hose down unfortunate wrestlers who may have their eyes caked shut by the mortar consistency like mixture.  The object of course will be for the winning wrestler to pin her opponent's face in the mud for the count of 3 to which then both wrestlers will be taken out back and hosed off.

    Megadeth has taken a second job at a clothing store but still continues to work at her original job in the coffee shop in the Washington Commons Mall. Deth who has worked at the coffee shop over a year is trying to earn enough money to go to college next year. Megadeth who is graduating High School this year plans to be a professional rodeo clown after college. The KAMR is not sure if she has yet picked a professional clown college as of yet. We will keep you informed as to any developments on this story. 

    Marie Krohn is not doing well and is in the hospital. She has been battling with cancer for three years now and has grown quite weak. All of her family have been called to her side.  That's all the news that is news, see ya.

Harold and Marie Krohn
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