ast week was a bad week for Ben Hansen son of the Queen of Chicken Night, Jean Poquette Hansen when he learned that he was being suspended for performing a violent act in school. Hansen claims he was defending his mothers honor when he took a poke at another student in the West De Pere Middle School.
The altercation however will cost Hansen a three day suspension and put a spot on his impeccable behavior record at the school, a record that was expected of Hansen after his friend and cousin Logan Sobieck had set the standard for just two years prior.
Sobieck admired by all staff and students alike at the school commented he was upset and troubled by the events that transpired and would look into the matter himself to try to gain additional information. As for what actually happened to provoke Hansen, here is what we know so far: Another unidentified student at the middle school began to make rude,off the cuff, and incite comments of a sexual nature to Hansen about his mother. Hansen tried to ignore him but when the student told Hansen to "Tell your mother she can come and pick up her clothes anytime" he couldn't hold it any longer and he decked the kid.
BEN HANSEN
SUSPENDED FOR VIOLENCE
QUESTION:
Dear Kat; I own an unadvertised, unofficial automotive repair business in Hobart. When I started the business I thought I would like it but now I find that I would rather take care of my grandchildren full time instead. One child is a baby and the other is only 2. I find that I like changing diapers better then changing oil, and giving baths better then cleaning engines. I know your going to tell me to go on with the automotive repair business so I can earn a decent living. But I really don't need the money, I usually just give it away anyway, it has become a bother to me. I have tried to do the business and babysitting, but the baby's clothes are getting stained with oil and grease all the time when I pick her up, and the customers don't like all the crying. I would like more grandchildren and then I think I could go with watching grandchildren full time, what do you think?
Troubled in Hobart
THE KAT SAYS:
Dear troubled, as you know I am mired down with children myself, some are considered grandchildren, others are not, but I have experience that can help you. I think there is a way you can carry on with your clandestine automotive repair business and babysitting at the same time.You have also expressed a desire for more grandchildren and I can send a couple extra I have your way if you wish. First to help with your babysitting problems, stop picking up the baby all the time! You will be unable to stop it from crying anyway so I suggest a Styrofoam cooler punched full of holes, the baby can get air but the sound can't get out. Next is the 2 year old, he no doubt is into everything just as 2 year olds are, probably taking apart engines, spilling out the oil and tracking it all around the floor. I find the best thing for 2 year olds is a small animal cage, they may cry when you put them in it but the wire on the cage is far enough apart to poke a broom stick in and give them a whack. Of course with more grandchildren you may run out of room for all the cages, I guess it would be time to think about expanding the shop then huh?
Meooow
REAL STORY WHY TREML SEVERS THUMB
Last week we ran a story about Scott Treml and his severed thumb. The real truth about why the thumb was severed may have been hidden from us at the time. The Newsletter has learned that in fact Emily Treml daughter of Scott and Judy Treml may have been involved in the accident.
It is a well known fact that Emily Treml has treasured the false teeth of Earl Poquette Sr. who passed away some time ago and left his teeth to Emily his granddaughter. Emily for years has been cleaning, sharpening, and
shaping the teeth to her own personal specifications. Everyone knew that one day the haunted teeth would go out of control in her head and maim or kill an innocent bystander or family member. Looks like Scott was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
FRIEND - GIRL - OR GIRLFRIEND?
Justin Sobieck says he has no girlfriends, yet every time I go over to his house his childhood sweetheart Janel is there visiting.
EMILY TREML PROUDLY DISPLAYS HER "CUSTOMIZED" TEETH IN A RECENT PHOTO
EMILY TREML
This certainly has to be more then just a friendly acquaintance. When questioned Sobieck says they are just friends and they hang around a lot together doing you know.... friend stuff, not boyfriend and girlfriend stuff. Yet
when questioning Logan he tells a much different story. Logan speaks of evenings where Justin is on the couch with the raven haired beauty watching television and how Justin acts around her. Logan is convinced there's more going on then just friendship. Perhaps we shall see more of this mysterious Janel and who knows?
Don't forget to read "Ask the Kat" in the next column. If you want your questions answered click the banner under the "Ask the Kat" column. That's all the news that is news, see ya.
JANEL
TIM LADE TO JOIN THE FAT CLUB
March 19, 2006
I
t was unexpected and out of the blue when on Saturday night, last night March 18, 2006 when Tim Lade uttered the phrase "I should come to the Fat Club". Immediately the room went silent and heads spun around to look in the direction of Lade. The Kat who is always looking for new members immediately blurted out "you should!".
Question
Dear Kat:
They have been talking on the news a lot lately about sectarian violence in Iraq. Can you explain what that means? I'm addicted to news channels on television, is that healthy?
Newsworthy
Answer
The Kat says:
Dear Newsworthy, obviously you mean secretarial violence. That of course is the phenomenon when secretaries across a nation revolt and cause anarchy by using the power of their office machines for evil. It is less common in the 21St. century since the advent of the computer and smaller business machines. You can imagine the threat of these clerical beauties back in the day when office machines were bulky cumbersome monsters.
Take for example The Flintstones when one of those secretaries was chiseling on those stone tablets, just think of the physical harm caused with one of those over the head. Well anyway on to your second point, Is watching TV news healthy? I believe it is not. I usually watch no news at all, I think all television stations should be allowed to show is home fix up shows and Law and Order.
Meooow
Lade began to explain because he sensed everyone is getting the wrong idea, Lade said "I could be the first alternate for the Exalted Ruler in his absence". As everyone knows Dave Poquette the self proclaimed Exalted Ruler for life could not be replaced nor did
Lade attempt to do so by his statement placing himself as only second in command to The Exalted Ruler himself. Although Lade is not admitting in any way that he is fat he would like to join the club to hold the position of power.
Lade later began to wonder though if his authority would stand after remembering what Trixie Sobieck had said about him in a recent discussion with one of his many X-wives. It seems Jean Mortenson X-wife number 3, or is it two ....... I can never remember, was asking Tim where she could get someone to do some work in her house when Tim recommended Kevin Sobieck. Mortenson asked Lade how to contact Kevin and Tim explained to her that she is not to talk directly to Kevin about scheduling but to go through Trixie who approves all of Kevin's work ahead of time and arranges his scheduling. Mortenson somewhat in disbelief called Trixie anyway and found Lades advice to be accurate when Trixie promptly scheduled her work in her planner.
The problem came when Mortenson explained she had learned about the Sobieck's scheduling system from Tim Lade. After a brief silence the enraged Trixie shouted out into the phone to Mortenson "You can tell Tim Lade he can kiss my ass"! Mortenson not used to such language
was shocked by Sobieck's reaction to her explanation of what she thought was the Sobieck's well oiled scheduling machine. It is for this reason that Tim Lade now is hesitant to assume power of "The Fat Club" in the absence of the Exalted Ruler, because it meets weekly in the home of Trixie Sobieck.
ELDEST BROTHER LOSES ABILITY TO PARTY
For most people this is not a huge event in their life, the inability to go out and have a good time every night of their life that is. For John Poquette however it is huge. Since 1969 John has partied every night without fail. It was what he did, just as you would leave for work every morning so it was with John and his carousing every night. This now coupled with his inability to get his business going again has led to a drastic lifestyle change for the eldest Poquette Family member known before to lead the fast life in Las Vegas. He can no longer be admired for his daring lifestyle and evasiveness that he once was a master at. Who knows, could this go so far as Poquette ........ well ........ taking a real job? Are there Home Depots in Las Vegas? That's all the news that is news, see ya.
