Click here to report News

Click here to place an Ad
Willie Cornelius is number 1 at number 2
Call him at 606-2944
Allan Dreblow - CEO
(Chief Excrement Officer)
May 13, 2007
            ave Poquette who proclaimed five years ago that his present home would be his "Tara" has purchased another home in Tennessee after finalizing the sale of the mansion made famous by the film "Gone with the Wind". The new home is located in the town where his fiance and present mistress Alex works, Murfreesboro.
Here's the logic behind this purchase. Alex commutes to and from work daily, Dave not so much only once a week, so why not purchase the house where the daily commuter lives and let
the once a week guy drive an extra 50 miles to and from work seeing it's only once a week or maybe even two weeks.

Dave must move out of his present home by May 20 which is this coming Sunday. On that day Dave will have lived at Tara five years and one day. Although his is looking forward to living in his new home he is sad to leave Tara behind and will miss the nosey neighbors and sudden tornados that are common in the area.

Whitey Cornelius who broke his leg badly in an unavoidable bar jumping accident has begun to walk against his doctors wishes. Cornelius who is supposed to stay off his feet until the leg mends was told to walk with crutches only when necessary by doctors who operated on the man placing pins in his leg after the accident. Cornelius has proclaimed however that he has been "healed" and has thrown his crutches to the side and is walking at will without them.
Dave's mistress Alex
Dave to leave his beloved Tara behind in favor of a home in Murfreesboro
The boys father Gene Cornelius has a different story however and claims there was no divine intervention at work at all and that Whitey's leg is not in fact healed and furthermore he risks permanent damage to
the leg if he continues to walk on it unassisted.

Clara Snell who graduated college on Saturday was the honored guest of her parents Paul and Linda Snell and husband to be Brandon Pickett. While everyone had a good time at the party several things occurred that were the subject of discussion for the evening.

Clara a Paris Hilton look alike announced that she had agreed to take celebrities place in jail as she has been sentenced to 45 days in the pokey.
Clara has agreed to do the time in return of a one time payment of a cool $1 million.

Val Snell, Clara's sister who does not look like Paris Hilton, showed up at the event provocatively dressed with her breasts ready to ooze out of her bustier at any second. Although the party was billed as a casual affair Snell and her boyfriend Darryl were clothed in formal attire owing to the fact that they were headed later to a wedding of one of her co-workers.

The Kat, long known collector of household furnishings, trinkets, and shoes has agreed to participate in a rummage sale with co-worker Stacie Rose. Rose who has known the Kat for several years has visited the Pickett home and
Whitey Cornelius who has not suffered a broken leg since birth
seen the collection for herself.
Rose who is coordinating the sale at her home said: "I don't have enough stuff to bring people in but with all her junk I'll be able to advertise this sale as having all kinds of stuff.

The Kat thinking ahead has already gathered a small
mound of merchandice and stored it in the middle of the garage floor. The exact location and time will be published in a later edition.

The Newsletter is late this week due to the writer working a late night at the Oneida Fire Department Sunday night. A fatal automobile accident on Hwy. 54 consumed most of my sleeping time and I was forced to delay publishing.

Tickets for the Timber Rattler Game Saturday June 23rd at 6:35 PM have been purchased. I already have 13 reserved out of 25 purchased. Talk to the Kat or myself if you would like to attend the game. The only seats available were bleacher and they are $6.50 each. Click here for a list of who has already reserved tickets. We do plan to come early and tail gate.
That's all the news that is news, see ya.
The Kat
Your ad here free