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August 10, 2008
A katandmick photo
                        arge Hanes the former Kari Wenzel gave in to the pain and allowed doctors to cut into her never before scarred body to remove an oversized, ready to burst gallbladder. The bladder which normally is the size of a Canadian goose egg had enlarged to the size of a small tuffet inside the the body of the Oconto native causing great pain and a distended abdomen.

Doctors in a short statement released after the operation said that complications arose due to other items found inside of Hanes. In a short list provided doctors listed the items: 23 bottle caps, 8 marbles
(one being a steelie) and a meat hook. Many of the items were found with the aid of a metal detector    but the marbles which are made of glass all had to be located visually for removal.  When questioned about the circumstances behind the finding, doctors insisted that the items were accidentally ingested due to Hanes' ravenous appetite.

Hanes who apparently is a hypochondriac insists that doctors fabricated the whole story and conducted the surgery to keep her from complaining further after she appeared in the emergency room for the 13th time this month. Doctors refused comment on the issue citing patient doctor confidentiality.

It is unknown when Hanes will be able to return to her job emptying and cleaning chamber pots at San Louis Manor. Hanes the daughter of Sue Wenzel will be off her feet for a while and her mother is expected to pick up her hours in her absence. Wenzel's shift will be extended from 12 to 18 hours a day until Marge Hanes returns.

In a stunning move Alex Pickett has announced that he will leave the country if Barack Obama is elected president in November. Pickett known to many by just the single name Pally  went on to say
Friends of Marge Hanes drop in at her hospital room to see if she needs anything while Hanes winces in pain after the bladder operation
that if Obama is elected president  the country's problems would continue, Pally: "It would be just like a four year extension of Bill Clinton's administration." An obvious oversight by Pally forgetting that George W. Bush has been president for the last 8 years.
Pally, the at one time popular teenage heart throb suggested that if Obama is elected that he would move to Iraq where the economy is in better shape and oil is plentiful. Pally who is no stranger to living overseas and spent 3 years in
Germany suggested that his sudden departure from the area would throw many of his fans into confusion and disarray.

That's all the news that is news, see ya.