Click here to report News

Click here to place an Ad
World News Headlines
Click headline to read story
November 9, 2008

Pregame show                                                             Kickoff at 2:00 PM
starts at 1:30 PM

Rock Paper Scissors                                                      Bleacher Seating at
at Half Time with                                                               the 20 Yard lines
        ean Mortenson known to some simply as Number 3 nearly passed on to her maker recently when blocked arteries caused a heart attack. Mortenson was married to Tim Lade briefly during the Carter Administration and was his third wife, thus the "Number 3" connotation. 
Mortenson 63, experienced chest pain and shortness of breath  a few weeks ago and sought medical help. The on duty team wasted no time and sent Mortenson to surgery immediately where doctors inserted stents in her main arteries which were
blocked.  Doctors said that Mortenson had one arterie completely blocked and another was blocked 90%. Number 3 had complained of being tired recently and had not known why. Blocked arteries tend to make one tired as your body's circulatory system must work harder to pump blood through plugged pipe.

Mortenson recovered from the procedure in just a few days and was back to work within a week of her dilemma.
Jean Mortenson
Tim Lade, Mortenson's former husband commented that he was amazed that doctors even found a heart inside of old number 3. Lade thought perhaps that the ice water pumped through Mortenson's veins was circulated by an aquarium pump.
Tim Lade
Lade who himself was on the receiving end of medical treatment for prostate cancer and has been coping with the after affects of surgery for removal of the affected areas was himself the subject of comment by Mortenson. Jean Mortenson: "Anything those doctors cut off sticking out down there he doesn't need anyway."
Despite the ample supply of animal heads and shrunken human heads laying about in Benin local people apparently
do not even celebrate the wildly popular holiday of Halloween in Africa as Americans do. Meeusen unaware of the Beninese holidays expected to reap ample supplies of candy and local Beninese confections when she unpacked her Halloween plastic pumpkin but alas was disappointed when she found out that no one even heard of Halloween in the
African continent. Meeuwsen thought she was on to something when locals began to put on a show with dancers who had bundles strapped to their heads. Wow, she thought these people go way out for Halloween, it turned out that they were celebrating something else entirely and were puzzled when Meeuwsen showed them her plastic bucket.

One of the locals examining her pumpkin bucket asked her for seeds for such a fruit as with such a tough but thin rind the fruit must be extra sweet and plentiful inside. Soon others came to seek seeds for the mystery fruit as well until Meeuwsen had a small riot on her hands. She eventually had to light a couple of M80s she had stashed in her underwear luggage to frighten off the unruly natives and chased them off waving lit sparklers spelling her name, "Chris" in the darkness with the moving sparkler.

As the night wore on she had to be content to drink home made moonshine from a hollowed out gourd for 10c a shot. While there's not much for service in the backwaters of Africa there's still a good deal on alcohol if you know where to get it.

That's all the news that is news, see ya.
Chrissy Meeuwsen