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November 11, 2007
     ules Cornelius starting running back for the Hobart Blue Jell-O's has injured his foot according to sources close to the player in a practice game. Cornelius also known as "The Bus" by teammates
has been a staple in the teams success since the inception of the Turkey Bowl eight years ago.

Cornelius 32,  apparently got his foot stepped on during a practice last week and is not sure he can play in the annual Thanksgiving day event next week.
More information on the condition of Cornelius will be forthcoming after a doctors examination this week. As of now his foot is swollen and has a large lump on his instep.

Blue Jell-O teammates are hoping for the the return of "The Bus" but one thing is for sure with just a week and a half to go before kick off Cornelius will not be at his best even if he does play. The status of the return of last years MVP Andrew Purshock is unknown due to his step mothers TDY to Japan this week and her uncertain return. If both players are out that could strike a significant blow to the efficiency of the Jell-O's offence machine.

Injuries are not the only thing the Blue Jell-O's have to worry about this year, an old nemesis has
Jules "The Bus" Cornelius
returned to the game after a 6 year hiatus. Alex Pickett has not played a Turkey Bowl since his 2001 performance when he joined the Air Force. Six years older with a marginal weight gain Pickett may not give the performance he did then but is still a substantial threat to the
weakened Jell-O team. Even with a healthy Jell-O team the game is expected to be a close match with the experienced pass receiver in the mix for the Oneida Red Gobblers.

Thanksgiving day promises to be a real showdown, get the latest updates before the game at 1:30 PM when field reporter JoAnne Lade interviews the team captains, followed by the kick off at 2:00 PM.

Half time this year will be a bit different this year with two contests planned. First a rock, paper, scissors competition is planned with contestants given two chances to stay in the competition. The last two left standing will play off for the prize.

Secondly this year an arm wrestling competition is planned complete with an old timers competition. Prizes will be awarded for both competitions and it is sure to be a spectacle.
Alex Pickett
Dear Kat,

I have a problem.  After a night of heavy drinking, I always take the country roads home.  In order to get a little light sleep, it's my habit to put the seat back like a bed and steer with my feet.  I use the telephone poles to help guide the vehicle.  -In my inclined position, I can see the electric poles out each side window.  It's a simple matter of keeping the car centered between them.  The problem is, now-a-days with cell phones and underground wiring, poles are disappearing on our nations highways and byways.  At times I have to depend on the rumble strips and my extended-reach curb feelers.  I worry that perhaps this practice is becoming unsafe.  My children in the back seat, seem to agree.  Are we just being big worry worts?  What's a heavy drinker to do?    

S. Lyle OConnor

Dear Mr. OConnor

As a powerful influential member of the media specializing in the printed word you of all people should recognize a social unacceptable practice these days. I know how you feel, for many years I was a member in good standing in the organization DAMM (Drunks against Mad Mothers) and fought tirelessly to get the legal limit back up to 1.0 Unfortunately the Mad Mothers lobby has more money and power and has won out.

My suggestion to you is to give up fighting the system, quit driving after drinking, find alternatives. After a night of heavy drinking for example just go out to your car where your 10 year old is sleeping and wake him up and make him drive home (remember to bring a pillow along for him to sit on.)
Another great suggestion is to use a horse to pull  your car around remember, the horse knows the way to pull you today ......... through the streets of Green Baaahaay. Any way I guess in a pinch you could explain the pole disappearing scenario to a cop if you get stopped and he'd probably let you go. That's all the news that is news, see ya.

As you all may recall Shelly Sobieck and her friend put on a benefit for a co-worker George Bennet who had Cancer.
Shelly reports that sadly George succumbed to his affliction at 3 AM on November 9. She said that Bennet had been laughing and joking the week before and according to her had little pain.
George Bennet