Oct03B

The night was uneventful as far as the weather was concerned but the environment inside the structure where the "Dick and Colleen Annual Halloween Party" was held was tumultuous to say the least. People went wild with excitement as the music played and the drinks flowed. The Quarter Horse Races were held with many to receive gifts and prizes for winning. The best costume contest was held and winners were announced at 11 PM. Many good costumes were on display and many were worthy of winning but the honor of First Place in the costume contest went to Blackie Cornelius and his girl friend Shannon as they walked in as Roy and the Tiger from the infamous Las Vegas act of Zigfield and Roy. Second Place went to Brandon Pickett as a Bowling trophy, Third went to Jean Poquette Hansen as Betsy Wetsy which is quite appropriate considering that it was the perfect way for her to hide her embarrassing incontinence problem. The writer of this column experienced first hand the uncontrollability of her bladder when we posed for a publicity photo with her sitting on my lap. Apparently her depends had already exceeded the 17 wettings it's guaranteed to hold and urine began seeping on to my pants and eventually through and on to my leg as I held her on my lap for the photo. Realizing the dangerous situation I was in and thinking of the damage that the powerful liquid could do m to my clothing and my leg I immediately sprang up from my perch and began to dry myself off. Even with my quick action the pants were ruined and holes began to form in them minute's later. This showed that the pants protected me from the strong acidy fluid. I felt nothing on my leg and upon inspection when I returned to my abode I found only minimal redness and a mild rash. I mixed a mild alkali solution of baking soda and water and applied it to the area to neutralize the acid and applied some first aid crème before bed and by the next day it seemed fine. As a service to our readers; if you are going to be in close proximity to J.P. Hansen it wouldn't hurt to have some type of alkali that can be mixed into a solution along just in case of an accidental exposure. This can include baking soda, lye soap, but not strong alkalis such as caustic soda unless of course you are exposed early in the morning when her fluids are at their highest power.

Logan Sobieck was in full chick mode as he observed all the girls at the party and teased them all. His seductive demeanor was used to romance the older girls and entice them into his liar. Handing out maps to his bed room and openly inviting them to his home is a sure sign of what's to come from this young man. With at least three girl friends at school that he manages and trying to pick up new chicks at the party to add to the list he rivals his sister Brittany in the number of romances that can go on in one week. On the phone with Samantha or Chelsea or even Alissa he manages to stave off one while talking to the other and exchanging love endearments. While explaining how much he actually loves the girl he's talking to at the time and trying to top the girl exclamation of how much she loves him he cries out on the phone that he loves her 2. She then retorts that she loves him 3, then back to him where he says he loves her 4 and on and on until one of them says they love the other to infinity, where it ends. As far as we know no one actually used the map to his room.

With only one month to prepare for the Turkey Bowl it's time to finalize the plans for the Red Gobblers and the Blue Jell-O's game strategies. Keep it here for all the details and make sure to attend the game on Thanksgiving day November 27th at Poquette Field 747 Florist Drive, Hobart.

With the Turkey Bowl now only 3 weeks away from this Thursday preparations are underway to manufacture a custom sprayer for lining the field for the big game. With all the lines on last years field being sprayed by hand with a manual air sprayer it was thought that XPFL engineers should work on an easier method of lining the field for 2004. Engineers designed a four wheel carriage and mounted a sophisticated sprayer in the middle, enough room was saved on the carriage for a paint container and an air regulator thus making the unit almost self contained for the job. The only other item needed is compressed air which will be supplied to the unit via an air hose from a central compressor located in the XPFL clubhouse known as the Sobieck residence. The ingenious design which was the brain child of Brandon and Michael Pickett features a fold up handle and will be equipped with a pointer to follow the marking string located at the sideline of the field. Even with the all the technical equipment already in use at Poquette Field still more is needed with any help that can be provided the day before the game for setting up the field and equipment. Another topic of hot discussion is whether or not goal posts should be used for the game or not, a major deciding factor is that we have none now and do not see any coming in the foreseeable future. If anyone has any ideas on getting some type of goal post that is erectable and able to be taken down easily after the game please contact the writer.

With November being national moustache month it is apparent that many of the best moustaches can be seen at the Turkey Bowl. A random sampling of the crowd at last years Bowl found some interesting moustache combinations to say the least, check out the photos at the right.

The new sports page is up if you wish to see it click here. The Birthday page will be updated soon so keep checking for that. Until next week, that's all the news that is news, see ya.