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October 7, 2007
Apparently last weeks cheerleader rebuttal letter from Trixie was highly scrutinized by some of our regular readers. One in particular is disturbed by Trixie not having the facts right.

Dear Kat,

I am confused. If Trixie has been the head cheerleader for the "Red Jell-O's" then I would like to know which league she has been cheering for? I thought the two teams were the "Red Gobblers" and the "Blue Jell-O's". Has there been some monkey business with a third team, or maybe there has been a conglomeration of the current teams?

I believe Trixie is confused because she is so weak from not eating. Trixie; pull up to the table and start conditioning for the Turkey Bowl!

Dear "Confused"

First of all let me put your mind at ease about you're speculation of "monkey business" in the XPFL and a third team. As head cheerleader for the XPFL I can assure you that no third team has been organized or ever will be.

Secondly, I didn't want to draw attention to Trixie's obvious lack of knowledge or ability as head cheerleader for the Red Gobblers by pointing out last week that she doesn't even know the correct name of the team. It's clear now that our highly intelligent readers can't be fooled. It can now be said that...... yes,  Trixie is suffering memory loss from lack of food and is unable to function correctly.

I'm afraid there is another sign of her incoherent demeanor as well. When speaking to her in these times when the temperatures are in the 80 to 90 degree range all she speaks of is Snow! 

That's all the news that is news, see ya.
                 pparently the only one left to of all family members who went to work for the United States Air Force left working now is Cheryl Purshock. Purshock an Air Force lifer is to be sent to Japan just days before the Turkey Bowl on a secret TDY (temporary duty).
Family members enamored with the Turkey Bowl are beside themselves at the prospect of missing the annual event because of the TDY. Jeremy Blue Bananas, Purshock's son, when told of the possible cancellation of the trip said, "If we can't go to Turkey Bowl cuz a some
stupid Air Force thang I'm gonna get me a big ol stick and buss up some heads." Blue Bananas who is in the Air Force himself has no tolerance for silly military procedures and protocol.

Steve Purshock Cheryl's spousal unit is disappointed at the prospect as well and warned Cheryl not to ruin his chances of breaking the
record of being the oldest most broken down player ever in the Turkey Bowl. Purshock: "This could be the year when due to my injuries I'm whisked off the field on a cart and leave Green Bay on crutches, and you want to ruin that with some stupid TDY?"  Purshock a retired Air Force General has been
loyal to that branch of service his whole life but when it comes to the Turkey Bowl he is unshakable.

Cheryl says that she hopes to be back in the States two days prior to kickoff and will make any sacrifice to get her family to TB VIII.

There has been a slight error on last weeks reporting of Aimey Richey's impregnation. I was asked to withhold the news until it was confirmed by a medical doctor. I complied with the wishes of the expectant mother, when I received an email informing me that it was OK to publish the story we assumed she had been seen by a doctor. This is not the case as I have been informed by a more recent email. Richey has not been seen by a doctor, in fact there are no doctors in Kentucky so they have moved back to Indiana.

Also another leap made by the writer was that Chris was hoping for a boy. Nothing could be further from the truth and he is in fact hoping for a baby girl.
Cheryl Purshock
Steve Purshock
Jean Poquette Hansen's
Pumpkin Carving Party
Saturday October 20, 2007 at her Crippen St. residence in the inner city of Greenleaf
Time: To be announced
(due to a previous dispute over pumpkin posecession it is not yet clear who keeps the completed pumpkins)
Saturday October 27, 2007
Costume contest - Prizes - Games
Dirty Dancing Contest - Food - Music
Absouloutly no loaded weapons will be allowed!
At Dick and Cleen's posh mid town Hobart residence at 747 Florist Drive