Would you like to submit it for next years calendar? Send your photo to Tim Lade for consideration in next years fund raising calendar. The photo can be either a print or in digital form. To submit your photo either e-mail a copy to Tim via TimLade@who.net or send the print to Tim in the US Mail at 3036 Ravine Way, Green Bay 54301. Photos can also be dropped off or emailed to KAMR offices.
September 24, 2006
PAL TO RETURN HOME
fter nearly 5 years with only two visits home, Alex Pickett is to return to Green Bay for good November 22, 2006. Pickett who served four years in the United States Air Force will be coming home nearly ten months after his discharge in Late January. Pickett who was in the Air Force Security Forces decided when discharged to stay in Germany and try to get employment and stay in the country since he had a girl friend and a place to stay anyway. When things went south with the female end of the bargain so did his place to stay making the situation a bit more complicated. Even though his situation is tenuous he has decided to stick it out a couple of months yet and come home the day before Thanksgiving. The reason he gave for this decision is he needs to sell his stuff, quit his job and spend some time hanging around with his friends before he says his final good bye.
Together they devise a test to see if this beautiful, intelligent woman could actually be attracted to our hero, Justin. They enlist the help of the most cunning and sly Sobieck, Justin’s smarter, and more handsome Brother, Cougar.
Cougar spent the next several days following the beautiful woman everywhere. From school to an un-named Italian restaurant he watched her every move. Always noticing her behavior and at times changing his appearance to appear to her as a handsome, athletic, stud.
find a reliable vehicle to take him to work. He has some money from selling his belongings in Germany and he is yet to sell his vehicle which will provide him with enough seed money when he sets foot on American soil to get started
Plans are being formulated for his arrival at home where he will basically have to start all over again with a new life. He will stay at Brandon's house temporaroly until he is making enough money to have his own apartment, he has to find a job, and
JUSTIN SOBIECK AWAKES FROM DREAM
At a recent gathering of friends and family, Justin Sobieck described a recent exotic dream that was so vivid he went into depression when he realized that it never actually happened.
Apparently, in this dream he falls in love with a beautiful woman. Far too beautiful for the likes of him, he thinks. All through the dream he remembers pinching himself to see if it was true, and to his surprise he never woke up.
According to Justin, the gentle giant of the Sobieck family, he meets this dark haired beauty and immediately falls in love with her.
To his surprise, she seems to be interested in him as well. As the dream unfolds he gets the feeling that she is developing fond feelings for him as well.
At about this point his Father, Kevin, suggests that maybe her interest is only in the Sobieck family fortune.
The beautiful woman passed every test presented by Cougar. This finally convinced the Sobieck family, that although she may have bad taste in men, she did indeed love Justin.
Well, as luck would have it, one day soon afterward, Justin and the beautiful woman were feeding each
other strawberries on a picnic out behind Poquette
Field. Suddenly Justin hears the shrill voice of his Mother yelling at him to wake up and go unplug the upstairs toilet.
Once he was awake, and the toilet unplugged he could never find the beautiful woman again.
Recently, he tried to sleep for a whole weekend, but no luck. She was gone forever.
Justin has since returned to his rowdy friends and dare-devil stunts. But every time he puts his head down on a pillow he hopes in vain that the beautiful dark haired woman will return. There's a new listing below in the for sale column and there's a new Idiotocity. That's all the news that is news, see ya.
The clever Cougar Sobieck renown for his good looks
Justin Sobieck, the dreamer
Alex Pickett planning his return in grand style
13 Foot long couch for sale, brown in color. The covering is a leather which resists dirt. The couch which now breaks into two sections can be turned into a sectional with the purchase of the corner section. It was purchased new from Ashley Furniture approximately two years ago for $1, 000, now asking only $500. The two sections each fold out into a bed making it a nice addition for someone who has
guests over often. Anyone interested can call Kathy Pickett at 920 869 2368 or drop us a line at email@example.com
Delivery can also be arranged if it is a reasonable distance. (Clarksville TN is too far).
Although the couch has been referred to in the past as "the 25 foot couch" it's actual length is only 13 feet.
Click thumbs to see larger photo
Dear Kat; While shopping in the Men's Department recently I experienced an unusual phenomenon. Someone jumped from the shelf into my cart! I wasn't looking for anything in particular that day being under the impression that all of the "good" merchandise had already been taken from the shelves. Apparently this man had been placed back onto the shelf or by his own description had placed himself back onto the shelf. He has been riding around in my cart now for about 6 weeks. I fear there has been a mistake. That someone inadvertently returned the wrong item back to the shelf. Why would anyone return such a fine piece of merchandise? I have found him to be most handy. He always knows the temperature inside or out of any given town, home, vehicle, or room. He calculates the mileage of my vehicle daily to ensure that I am getting decent gas mileage. He reminds me about my vehicle maintenance, and he even keeps in close contact with me via the cell phone. As well, he even keeps my chrome polished in the bathroom and kitchen. AND he can cook! His label gave little information except something about being manufactured in Wisconsin in a large distribution center.
Seems there is very little known about him other than what I have been able to discover in the archives of The Kat and Mick Report Thank goodness for this publication. Believing you have an inside connection with this publication, is there any pertinent information you can give me that might enlighten me further? After talking to him for a total of 24 days over the last month and a half, I wonder if there is anything you would like to add? Any advice that you might feel that I need? This shopping cart episode is a new experience. Perhaps like a good wine, the flavor has been enhanced by shelf time.
Signed, Finished shopping in Tennessee
Dear Tennessee Shopper; First of all I'd like to thank you for proving my point that all southerners are long winded. Secondly you have asked me for information, advice, and generally anything I can add to your shopping experience, well here it is. First I'd like to correct you on your misconception that men age gracefully like a good wine on the shelf. Men are more like a quart of milk than a bottle of wine. You must first look at the container and see if it is bulging, then check the expiration date to make sure it's not near the end of it's term, finally when you open the package make sure it doesn't have that "old man smell."
From the information you have given me, you're writing from Tennessee, his coverage in The Kat and Mick Report archives, his unattachment to any other women, and finally his constant obsessive nature with temperature I can safely assume that the person you are asking about is famous XPFL announcer Dave Poquette. While we normally don't identify individuals here in Ask the Kat we are able to make an exception this time because of Mr. Poquette's fame and notoriety. It is a well known fact that a famous person is public domain and everyone is free to write about them from what ever angle they want excluding slander.
While it is true Poquette may be like a ripe piece of fruit waiting to be plucked from the tree long after the other fruit has fallen let me remind you that many others before you have tried and failed. I can't tell you any more than you already know, and as far as advice goes, well all I can say is get used to constant temperature updates, spending hours on the phone, and having your sentences finished by Dave with 60's and 70's era song lyrics. He will probably remain in you're cart for a long time reliably unless you return him to the customer service counter.
JULES CORNELIUS EJECTED FROM WEDDING
October 1, 2006
eptember 23, 2006 Julius Cornelius stood for the wedding of friends, Robin and Matt Gunville in Iron Mountain, Michigan. The wedding itself was a beautiful outdoor affair near a wooded area and went very well. The trouble came that evening during the reception celebration, The Kat and Mick Report has learned from an unidentified source that Cornelius
became extremely intoxicated and conducted himself in a very unbecoming way. He had done such unspeakable acts it would be inappropriate to describe them in this public forum. Upon seeing what shape Cornelius had deteriorated into and how he was acting the Gunville's asked him to
leave and not come back. Cornelius, team captain for the Hobart Blue Jell-O's in the XPFL, is no stranger to trouble and has been known in the past to frequent bars bragging of his superior football skill while wielding the highly touted "Mary Poquette Award" and taunting other would be football players.
JOHN POQUETTE SELLS LAS VEGAS HOME
John Poquette is said to be living with a friend known only by the name of "Ducky." Poquette sold his beloved manufactured home of many years and plans to move on to another area due to saturation of potential in his business. Speaking to brother Dave Poquette a former Las Vegas resident himself, John told him he would be seeking a new place to live soon but would not divulge his preferences in the matter citing Dave's past behavior in alerting everyone to his plans. "It is better I don't tell the rat boy where I'm going to live" Poquette said while planning his future move.
VALERIE SNELL GOES OUT OF BUSINESS
Valerie Snell proprietor of the local franchise of Pure Romance has announced she is going out of business. Snell who for weeks ran an ad right here in the NEWSLETTER told her sister Clara she is willing to sell the business to any interested party at a fair price including stock and future bookings.
XPFL team captain for the Blue Jell-O's Jules Cornelius
Apparently Snell, an accountant, did not foresee the amount of work involved in running the wildly popular Pure Romance franchise. Snell briefly entertained the thought of having her mother, Linda brought into the business as an associate, but thought better of the notion when she realized she
would have the awkward duty of training the matriarch of the Snell family herself, a chore she did not relish. If Snell is unable to sell the business in tact she evidently according to Clara will sell off the merchandise at a discount price. Should that occur we will let you know.
MIKE POQUETTE RELEASED FROM JAIL
Little is known about the elusive Mike Poquette other than he has been released from the Clackamas County Jail in Oregon Wednesday September 27th for unknown crimes. The information had been passed down through former and present girl friends and brothers of Poquette.
JP HANSEN HOLDS PUMPKIN CARVING PARTY
For the second year in a row Jean Poquette Hansen will hold a Pumpkin Carving party for children at her home in Greenleaf. It's a bring your own pumpkin party and it will be held October 21. Times are not yet finalized and will be published later. That's all the news that is news, see ya.