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...An offbeat, off the wall, hell, sometimes off the floor, glimpse at the world of sports, as seen through the egocentric and foggy beer goggles of the sports writer extraordinaire, S. Lyle OConnor.
UNSPORTSMANLIKE COMMENT is a copyrighted feature of THE KAT AND MICK REPORT. 
It is published on a more or less monthly basis.
Note; The comments of S. Lyle OConnor are not those of The KAT AND MICK REPORT, Kat, Mick, The Chicago Bears former head coach Mike Ditka, and anyone living in the Town of Oneida,  Comments made by S. Lyle should be taken with  a grain of salt, or perhaps a pound of salt.
Hey there sports fans.  It’s football time.  And as you may recall, this column is about sports. –Sometimes, at least.  Many readers have been begging me to crawl out of my deep underground cavern below my squalid habitat, and fire up an article about the upcoming (and ongoing) Packer season.  Real, solid, loyal readers who value my insight, …folks like Dave P. Poquette, and others too, I’ll just bet ya.  As of this writing the packers have finished a non descript 1-3 preseason, and impressively beat the Carolina Panthers in the season opener on Monday night.  Now at 1-0, they are about to mesh helmets with the big bad Bears at Lambeau Field.  Of course, this column is not published timely enough to do a game-by-game analysis.  Besides you can get that stuff elsewhere.  What you’ll get instead are some disjointed thoughts that managed to bubble up thru the beer foam in my brain.  That’s what you’ll get. And damit, you’ll like it!  .   
The MIDWEST Coast Offence
Enough already with the west coast.  I’m sure it’s a nice place to live, …great weather, movie stars, swimming pools and all that.  But enough.  The Packers are one of many teams who run what has long been referred to as the West Coast Offence.  A “pass to daylight” scheme based on Bill Walshes potent 49ER offence, --back in the 90’s.  Well, it aint the 90’s anymore, and in the NFL of  2004, Mr. Walsh is pretty much irreverent.  Holmgren, Gruden, Andy Reid, Morningwig and Mooch were all purveyors of the offence and all were groomed in the shadows of Lambeu Field.   Mike Sherman is the latest Packer that has Lambeauize the west coast offence.  It is time that the name reflected the evolution of this offense.  I hereby propose that from this day forward, the Green Bay Packers Offensive scheme, and all other imitations of, shall now and just forth be officially called the Midwest Coast Offence.   Mark it down, John Madden

Favreoian action
Before his illustrious career is over Bret Favre will have littered his name in the record books and established himself as arguably the best quarterback the NFL has ever seen.  His very name is synonymous with toughness.  His long list of accomplishments and milestones grows with each passing week.  I, the great S. Lyle OConnor have one additional accolade that should be considered.  A lofty tribute that’s not directly related to his gridiron accomplishments.  I propose that Bret Favre’s namesake be imbedded into the English lexicon.  He should be in Webster’s dictionary.   My recommendation:

Favreoian: (fāvre-vō’-ne-īn)  1. Toughness.  2. A physical action performed in the game of American football that is completely astounding.  Mostly always used in a positive manner, but at rare and inopportune times, it can be astounding in a less then positive way.  

Supersize my contract.
You don’t go to McDonalds and order a supersize value meal with extra fries and extra soda.  You can’t, they are already using the biggest containers they have.  You can’t put 33 ounces of soft dink into a 32 oz container.  Besides, it’s enough already!!!  I propose the same idea for a player’s contract.  If you are at the top of your game, you deserve to get the top pay.  Supersize his contract!  Management and the players union should predetermine this top pay.  I don’t know, …what?  3, 4, maybe 5 mil a year?  But that’s it.  If it ain’t enough, …get a part time job, or cut back on your expenses already.  Geese.

Kick away this pick.  Again?
BJ Sanders.  I was not against this draft pick.  I say, if you can get a guy who can punt the ball exceptionally well and consistently give your team good field position, it’s worth a third round pick, and I said the exact same thing in 1997 when the Packers drafted the talented place kicker Bret Conway in the third round.  Again, its worth a third if he can solve your kicking problems.  Of course, there’s the rub, isn’t it???  So far, it doesn't appear like they drafted a guy like that.  You would think it’s a pretty safe bet.  If a guy can kick a football well in front of 60,000 rabid collegiate fans, I can’t see why the same person can’t kick well in front of 60,000 rabid NFL fans.  What makes it strange, is that a punter is completely self-dependant.  It is far and away the least team-dependant position in football.  For the most part, he has to catch the snap and place his moving foot on the ball, causing it to travel forward.  Hopefully at the proper height and distance.  Sigh, I just don’t get it.      

Daddy’s got a brand new ’fense.
The defense that Bob Slowik installed looks snappy and fast.  And sneaky smart.  But it’s very risky.  It remains to be seen if teams will exploit the Packers with big plays.  So far so good.  It’s definitely fun to watch.  But make no mistake about it.  They will get burned, …more then a few times.  When you put 8 or 9 men in the box, that leaves just 2 or 3 lonely men to cover the receivers, tight ends, and/or running backs downfield.   It’s an odds game.  Will they win more match then they lose?  That’s the question my dear reader, that’s the question.  I’m thinking… YES!  Maybe. 




 

The McKenzie conundrum.
It has been a real disappointment that Mike McKenzie held out.  I always liked him, and I consider him to be a close personal friend of mine, but to quote another close personal friend of mine, Bret Favre: “You gotta be a man of your word and honor your contract”.  As fans we should welcome him back and try to forget about the whole mess, because, that’s our best chance of winning.  If you really have the need to get huffy about it, go ahead and boo him at the upcoming Bear game in Lambeau Field.  Just this once… OK?  Then let’s move on.  My feeling is that he was unhappy with the Defensive scheme, but with this new look defense he’ll fit in real nicely.  Perhaps this may all go away.  But, beware.  It’s always precarious situation when a holdout gets on an NFL gridiron without his football legs.  An injury is only a hamstring away.  Or a turf toe, or a groin pull, or an ACL away… 

By the way, great job by Mike Sherman,  -- for holding a hard line, yet flexible enough to allow a disgruntled player back, all the while keeping the animosity level at the bare minimum.  Mike Sherman excels at stuff like that.  He’s a smart cookie.  Of course, Mike is a close personal friend of mine, so I wish him the best of luck.  Mike OConnor, that is.  -- My cousin from Chicago!  A huge Packer fan, and one hell of a great guy!  He just got back from the hospital, where they (as they often do) did some “prociedures” on him.  Good luck to you, Mike!

Professional Football Coaching 101
How about that idiot Tom Coughlin?  Fining, among others, Michel Strayhand for showing up only two minutes early for a meeting.  What a dork.  Even a great coach like Vince Lombardi wouldn’t get away with an outrageous move like that.  — Let alone a sub-par one like Coughlin.  Sure, you want to make a point about discipline.  That’s fine, that’s good coaching.  But pick your battles.   Not something insulting like “You’re the leagues pass rushing leader, a hard worker, and highly respected by your teammates, but your only 2 minutes early for this team meeting.  Now consider yourself fined”!  Wow.  Good luck with that strategy.

This is a sore spot with me because in my humble opinion punctuality is overrated.  True story:  In a past life, I had a foreman who was going to teach me about the evil of my tardy ways.  We’ll call him Leland.  Leland (who btw was a real nice guy) made me put a dollar in a jar every time I was late.  I didn’t mind, it seemed like a pretty good deal.  The convenience of being able to show up late far outweighed the measly one-dollar forfeiture.  By the years end, he gave up.  He handed me the jar.  It had eighty-some bucks in it!  PAR-TEE TIME!!!   Also, I am sure that nobody cares that this article is three weeks overdue.  I am also sure that the money grubbing tyrants at the KAM report will waive the 5,000-dollar a day overdue fines.  I mean come on; they all love me over there.  I’ll just bet ya.   





S. Lyle OConnor can be contacted at shawnoconnor@hotmail.com  If your feeling lucky, go a head and send him a note.  I dare ya.