Goodbye to summer and Naomi. Hello football!
Well, gang that's about it. Summer is over. If that's not bad enough, the end of summer also means my summer intern; Naomi is headed back to reflexology school. I was able to keep her for most of September. Because of Bob's long standing commitment to the Panamanian banana harvest; Bobs Big School of Reflexology doesn't start till the last week of September.
It has been a great pleasure working with Naomi; she made the hours at the drab headquarters of KAMR almost bearable. I'll be honest; she almost didn't get the job. I was already set on hiring Angel, a pretty little thang who worked nights as a bill collector, usually collecting said bills along the perimeter of her gee(!) string. Naomi was the last girl slated for an interview. (In fact she was the only
other applicant.) Immediately, I noticed that Naomi was put together quite differently that Angel. She was a beautiful girl, no doubt. But, how do I write this without sounding like a sexist pig??? (I guess I don't!) Naomi was built on a frame more suited to a middle linebacker, then the sexy intern I hoped to hire. Like me, she was a product of Wisconsin. Beer, brats and cheese!
However, despite my shallow and truly pathetic preconceptions, Naomi did fantastic in the interview. With each passing question, Angel was becoming less and less of a "lock". Then, I offered her a beer, and before I could sharpie her name on a plastic cup, she picked up the office half barrel like it was beer stein and took a long drag off the spigot!!! Well, at that instant, I knew I had my intern!
We had some great times over the summer! The atomic wedgies, the 200-foot beer bongs from the KAMR observation deck, the all night strip poker games. (When one got naked, we'd dress back up and deal again!) Hell, often we were damn near naked before the first hand was even dealt. --Because of managements abject refusal to run the A/C at a comfortable "meat locker" setting, on the hotter days we would strip down and work in our boxers and bras. Of course, I'm no perv, I don't wear no bra. For me, it's the "Manssiere". B-cup. Hey, what can I say? Sometimes, I notice a little giggle
With all the hi-jinks and frivolity going down at the Unsportsmanlike Comment offices, it's a stink'in miracle we got any work done at all. But we surely did. I was able to pound out 2 monthly articles during the 3 months of summer! And if my arrogant, self-centered "readers" would ever stop fussing about with their petty little lives, maybe, just maybe, they could find a little spare time to read my excellent column! It would be nice. If they did, I am sure they'd say it was my best work ever!
Naomi had an infectious laugh, and sterile breath. (?) Her perfume was intoxicating and her martinis were dry enough to set ya sober. As skilled at MS Office as she was with a foot massage, she has a bright future ahead of her. I wish her well and I will miss her greatly.
But enough about all that, I'm sure ya wanna talk some sports! What should we talk about? Now, let me think What could it be? Oh, I don't know How about NF-frisking-L FOOTBALL!!!!
Well, the opening day at Lambeau Field against the Vikings made me wonder if there should be six or seven preseason games, instead of five!!! The Packers were not ready to play with real bullets. Mike Sherman is a personal friend of mine, so I hate to say it but, like my personal friend Ron Wolf said earlier this year: "This team is soft". Personally, I believe there's a lack of conditioning, and I know there is a lack of attitude. To me this explains the recurrent procession of injuries that plague this team.
However, things have improved with the second game. Almost a complete turnaround against the Lions. We will have to see what comes about on the third game. This
article will already have hit the presses by then. So you'll know more as you are reading this. But I'll make a few bold predictions: The Green Bay Packers will play at 3:05 at Sun Devil Stadium in Arizona, Brett Favre will start, and it will not snow. I'll bet ya.