Hello readers, this week I received two letters, both from the same person I suspect. We'll print them both and I'll answer them with one reply.
Dear Editor:
I realize that "The Kat is always cleaning" but she is leaving her many fans out in the cold. Even J.K. Rowling keeps feeding her public with mysterious tales of Harry. With at least as many fans as JK, do you think the Kat could come off of her throne long enough to shed a little wisdom to her public? I know with the tremendous following the mail bags must be bursting at the seams with "letters to the Kat". Come on Kat-give it up.
Signed,
In need of advice
Dear Kat,
Recently I became engaged to a man who has been in his fair share of rodeos. (I understand you have a son who is in the rodeo so I thought you might have some solid advice.) Not that this is my first rodeo, but jumping back into the ring can cause a little anxiety when you don't know if the man you got engaged to is a ragging bull or a rodeo clown. So far, I believe he could be the man who drives the truck of rodeo equipment from rodeo to rodeo all across the nation, not really participating in the bull riding, calf roping, barrel racing, etc. It just sounds impressive to the fillies to say, "I've been in a rodeo or two, or three? How would you suggest that I keep this rodeo trucker in the ring?
Signed,
The Future Mrs. Rodeo Clown
Dear Mrs. Rodeo Clown in need of advice:
Well, first of all you should thank your lucky stars that that truck driver is not a bull driver. The way I hear it those bull riders usually are never able to procreate because their textiles are hammered down to the top of that bulls back, and what kind of marriage would that be without the joy of children? As far as keeping the rodeo trucker in the ring, well honey there's no sure fire way to keep any clown in the ring if he don't want to be there.
Next issue: The lack of "Ask the Kat" features recently in THE NEWSLETTER. As far as I know this publication never makes up stories or intentionally misleads it's readers, so it would be fair to say that if no one writes in and asks a question then there will be no answers either. Simple as that.
Meeeeeow
DAVE POQUETTE REVEALS WEDDING PLANS
Dave "Peter" Poquette as reported last week has proposed marriage to his companion of many months Alex, to which she has accepted. Poquette has also announced this week that the marriage will take place in Key West Florida in January. Poquette 55 has already reserved a room and made arrangements for the wedding the week of January 26 2008. Both are early risers and the thought of a sunrise ceremony is being discussed.
TIMBER RATTLER GAME DATE
Saturday June 23rd is the date we will set up for as the summer baseball get together. It is a night game beginning at 6:35 with The Rattlers playing The Swing of the Quad Cities. Of course tail gating will begin in the afternoon. Unless we hear a lot of objections for this date in the next few days we will purchase the 20 ticket package and sell them on a first come first serve basis.
That's all the news that is news, see ya.
BRITTANY SOBIECK ASKS FOR YOUR HELP
Brittany Sobieck will be out on the streets hustling for cash next month. It's all for charity you know, you ask how does that make it any better? Well the answer is I know what your thinking and that's not it. It's a bike marathon for diabetes research and the Miller Lite ride for the Arts. Sobieck a 23 year old UW Milwaukee student is taking pledges for two bicycle charity events she will participate in on May 20 and June 3.
The first event on May 20 is for the American Diabetes Association and is called The Tour deCure held in Grafton. Sobieck will ride 25 miles but needs at least $100 dollars in donations to get registered. A link to Sobieck's personal page is available where you can donate on line here.
Sobieck is not done peddling yet because she is still got another 25 miles to go for the Miller Lite
A small window at the bottom of the page also has a link to the same personal page for Sobieck. The same window also has a progress bar showing the remainder of what she has to raise to reach her goal. She also says that she will be home next week and you can donate in person if you feel uncomfortable about doing such things on the Internet.
ERV TOEBE GETS CORPORATE SPONSORS
A recent article in the Green Bay Press Gazette has netted Erv Toebe some important sponsors in his quest to take kids fishing.
riday April 20 Brittany will turn 24 years old and she wants to have her birthday celebrated with family and friends. With no male companion at her side the Oneida Harlot wants to be close to the people she loves while life passes her by as she becomes an old maid.
It is presumed the former Queen of Chicken Night will be on hand for the event thus making this a Chicken Night at an unofficial location. Doxby's in Seymour is the choice she has selected for the event and while it is a birthday party she requests no presents but will accept donations for her fund raising events covered in the next story. The meeting time is unknown but one can probably assume it is the usual 5:30 or so if you'd like to go.
