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November 22, 2009
CLEEN DISCOVERS ANEURYSM
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                 leen Poquette wife of Dick Poquette has discovered after a visit to the doctor that there is an abnormality in her bodies circulation system. It seems that because the middle aged bank teller has high cholesterol the doctor had put her on medication to control it. Many doctors feel that the
discovery of high cholesterol also warrants testing to see if the high level caused any plaque build up on arterial walls. A test used to detect unusual build up led to the doctor finding an unusual bulge in one of Poquette's arteries
leading to her heart, this is called an aneurysm.

The problem with such a condition is that as the aneurysm grows in size the walls of the arteries become thinner, as this happens there is more danger of the artery bursting. An aneurysm bursting on ones main artery would mean certain death so this condition must be monitored closely and at some point Cleen will undoubtedly need surgery to repair the problem.

Cleen says that at this point the condition is not considered severe enough to operate, they have measured it to be 4cm. in size and they don't consider surgery until the abnormality exceeds 5cm. The good news is that she doesn't need immediate treatment but cautious optimism also dictates that being as close to the go, no go point of surgery said surgery may happen sooner than what she would like.

DOATS REPORTS SALES UP ON MARY KAY
Mary Ann Meeuwsen who for some time prided herself as a representative for the popular make up company Mary Kay reports that monthly sales receipts are up to never before seen levels for her.
Meeuwsen who at one time sold Mary Kay products full time decided to scale back on sales last August and concentrate more on her skills as a trained registered nurse. Meeuwsen who worked previously for the visiting nurses decided to go back to the home health organization and continue the Mary Kay business on a part time basis.
What Meeuwsen couldn't have known was that the combination of the two became a boon for her Mary Kay business as well. After Meeuwsen's return she was assigned a number of patients largely diagnosed with Alzheimer disease. Making the best of each visit Meeuwsen would give her patient friends the old sales pitch for Mary Kay, as long as she was there why not? She found that almost without fail they would purchase every time. Meeusen: "I had no idea my patients would be such good repeat customers." Meeuwsen found that she could even sell cosmetics to a few of her male patients as well. "At this rate soon I'll be visiting my patients in a visiting nurse/Mary Kay pink Cadillac" Meeuwsen quipped as she drove off for her next patient visit.
Mary Ann "Doats" Meeuwsen
Cleen Poquette
VISION DISTORTED AFTER BEDAZZLE ACCIDENT
Saturday the XPFL cheerleaders gathered to "bedazzle" their uniforms in preparation for TB-X. The hastily conceived plan was to meet here at the KAMR offices and decorate their dowdy uniforms to bring a little class to the ten year anniversary of the Turkey Bowl. The lighthearted gathering was almost marred by tragedy when Blue Jell-O's squad leader Jean
A katandmick photo
XPFL Cheerleaders pose in pymrid form with unadorned uniforms
Poquette-Hansen nearly suffered permanent vision damage from an unexpected glue accident.

It seems that after a trial run of the bedazzling machine at the Jean Poquette-Hansen pumpkin carving party in October the notion that all the uniforms could be bedazzled with one bedazzle machine was abandoned. The time consumed
bedazzling even just one uniform far exceeded what XPFL cheerleaders considered prudent for their busy schedules. After some minor discussion plan number two was put into action and the gluing of flair was adopted as the new method of sprucing up the garments.

Stephonia Prevost who fancies herself as a craft apprentice purchased flair for her uniform. Feathers and items that had to be sewed on was what her vision was for her uniform, but unwilling to perform the sewing operations her items were quickly discarded by the Kat. Because of her native American background the feathers were fashioned into a headdress to adorn her melon.

Once again with a gathering of cheerleaders alcohol was consumed in large portions and after some heavy drinking Jean Poquette-Hansen became tired and with glue filled hands began rubbing her eyes. Soon she screamed that she had glue in her eyes and she became concerned about the implants. She was reassured by her sisters and fellow cheerleaders and soon calmed down after learning that the glue dried clear. Her sister Trixie also suggested that if a problem occurred with her vision they could finish the job and glue a facetted jewel to her eye as sort of a new magnifier lens.

Other plans for TB-X are on track with the field to be painted today and the press box assembled. Bleachers are coming Tuesday or Wednesday. Those in charge of cooking are asking everyone to bring the same things this year as they did last year. That's all the news that is news, see ya at the Turkey Bowl.
Jean Poquette-Hansen