KEEP UP WITH NEWS YOU CAN ALWAYS USE
US News Headlines
Click headline to read story
Search this site for anything
That's all the news that is news, see ya.
The News for Sunday November 22, 2015
Julius "Willie" Cornelius plows through the Red Gobblers defense making yards on his way to the end zone
Fat Club Exalted Ruler David Poquette stands on the beach with his brother Richard Poquette who can hardly believe he had been snubbed
Fat Club Members purposely snub Exalted Ruler at Saturday's appearance at the meeting
t was a day that had been planned for months and it finally came to fruition on Saturday, but alas the membership of "The Fat Club" failed in their responsibility to attend a mandatory meeting hosted by the Exalted Ruler. Dave "Peter" Poquette expected to greet all of his subjects and catch up on weight loss stories on Saturday but instead was only able to speak to two actual members, one of which really doesn't qualify as overweight.
The much anticipated day arrived and Poquette arrived in plenty of time to greet members even if they arrived early, although Poquette was taken back when no one had arrived minutes after 10 AM. I explained that no one usually arrives until around 11 with others strolling in at 1 PM sometimes. At 10:35 Eileen "Trixie" Sobieck arrived thereby kicking off the arrival of the rest of the membership or so Poquette thought. Tens of minutes went by and then Judy Treml popped in explaining that a delay in her moving plans allowed her to free up time in her schedule to attend the meeting. Treml, too skinny to actually qualify as a member of the fat club but bulky enough to elude the description as flimsy, is allowed to attend the meetings as a guest but is promptly castigated by other members should she start complaining about weight related health problems for which she does not qualify. The arrival of Treml was the last guest to attend the Saturday meeting disappointing the Exalted Ruler in front of his queen Betsy. The only loyal member to "The Fat Club" was Eileen "Trixie" Sobieck (again) while it should be noted that Judy Treml went out of her way to attend even though she is not a bone-a-fide member needing weight loss training. The Exalted Ruler decreed that all other members are to be shunned for not attending the Saturday meeting.
The staff at The Newsletter felt so bad about Dave being ignored at the meeting that along with his brothers Dick and Earl and their wives a special ham dinner was held in his honor Sunday Night to commemorate his ruling over the group and all the weight loss accomplishments he was responsible for throughout the decades. Pie and ice cream topped off the dinner and was consumed during the final minutes of the Packers Vikings game in which the Packers emerged victorious, thus ending the speculation that Olivia Munn had cast a spell on Aaron Rogers causing the three game loosing streak.
RUMORS SURFACE ABOUT THE RETURN OF CORNELIUS
Rumors are about that Julius "Willie" Cornelius is returning to the Turkey Bowl grid iron in the upcoming match up on Thursday. Cornelius who had been hurt for several of the bowl games failed to appear for at least the last three years during which the Red Gobblers enjoyed the lack of a successful running game by the Blue Jell-O's. Cornelius known as "The Bus" is a formidable opponent with a nearly unstoppable running game for which the Gobblers must triple and quadruple coverage of the veteran running back. The Red Gobblers will undoubtedly be rethinking their game plan should "The Bus" appear at the game.