THIS IS FULL CONTACT FOOTBALL WITH NFL RULES WITH THESE EXCEPTIONS
THE 5 SECOND RULE - NO ONE CAN BLITZ THE QUARTER BACK UNTILL 5 SECONDS AFTER THE BALL IS SNAPPED.
NO FIELD GOALS - BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THERE ARE NO GOAL POSTS.
ONLY ONE FIRST DOWN IS ATTAINABLE - BECAUSE OF THE SHORT FIELD AND THE LIMITED AMOUNT OF PLAYERS THERE IS ONLY ONE FIRST DOWN AND THAT IS THE 25 YARD LINE, MID FIELD
ON SIDE KICKS ARE PROHIBITED.
DISPUTED PLAYS -
BECAUSE THERE IS NO TELEVISION INSTANT REPLAY, PLAYS IN DISPUTE WILL BE DECIDED BY MAGIC EIGHT BALL.
9 PLAYERS PER TEAM - TEAMS ARE LIMITED TO 9 PLAYERS BECAUSE OF THE SMALL FIELD. IF A TOTAL OF 18 PLAYERS ARE NOT AVAILABLE THEN PLAYERS MAY BE TRADED TO THE OPOSING TEAM TO MAKE THE SIDES EVEN. SHOULD AN ODD NUMBER OF PLAYERS OCCUR THEN 1 OR MORE PLAYERS MUST SIT OUT.
THE CLOCK - THE CLOCK WILL STOP ONLY FOR THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.
CHANGE OF POSSESSION
CHARGED TIME OUT (2 MIN.)
OFFICIALS TIME OUT
BALL OUT OF BOUNDS
PENALTYS
SPORTS
THE CHEERLEADERS
CORNER
BLUE JELLOS #
RED GOBBLERS #
TEAMS ARE NOT LIMITED TO ANY NUMBER OF PLAYERS, IF MORE PEOPLE WANT TO PLAY THEY WILL BE ADDED TO THE ROSTER ON THAT DAY. THE XPFL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO TRADE OR MOVE PLAYERS AS IT SEES FIT.
TB-02 PLAYERS ROSTER
OFFICIALS:
REFEREE AND
LINE JUDGE
EARL POQUETTE JR.
SAM POQUETTE
FIELD JUDGE
UMPIRE
FINAL SCORE
Top ten signs that it was too cold at the Turkey Bowl
10. Officials report exposed butt crack getting cold when picking up flag.
9. Sound took twice as long to travel to other side of field from public address speakers.
8. Iceberg lettuce served at Thanksgiving pre game dinner harvested from real ice berg on Poquette Field.
7. Complaints overheard from incontinent cheerleaders of slacks freezing to leg.
6. Chilled adult beverages served on sidelines had to be preheated.
5. Blue Jell-O quarterback caught warming his hands in the centers pants.
4. Red Gobbler place kicker injures foot by kicking football frozen to field.
3. XPFL announcers report cheerleaders were the only thing hot on the field.
2. Spectators slicing up chunks of Poquette Field frozen tundra for souvenirs.
1. Turkey mascot chased off of Poquette field by polar bears.
TB-02 SPONSORS
AARON MEEWSEN 9
GARY MEEWSEN 1
ADAM MEEWSEN 7
RICK POQUETTE 10
BOBBY CARTER 11
BRANDON PICKETT 4
BEN ZANON 6
BOB VAN LANNEN 12
BRIAN ESHLEMAN 5
LOGAN SOBIECK 1
JUSTIN SOBIECK 12
SARAH POQUETTE 14
RICK (APRILS BOYFRIEND) 6
JULIUS CORNELIUS 10
J. D. BUNKER 12
BEN HOCK 11
JOE SIEHR 2
STEVE PURSHOCK 3
DEE JOSEPHI 9
1.
2.
3.
4.
MIKE VANDEN HEUVEL
ABOUT THE OFFICIAL XPFL FIELD
LENGTH: 50 YARDS
WIDTH: 25 YARDS
GOAL POSTS: NONE
LIGHTS: NONE
PRESS BOX : 25 YARD LINE EITHER SIDE
THE OFFICIAL COIN TOSS
LOYAL XPFL FAN MARIE KROHN BRAVES THE COLD WEATHER TO BE AT THE TURKEY BOWL
KAT, JOANIE, AND JEANIE (THE QUEEN) SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
HEAD OFFICIAL EARL POQUETTE WITH BUTTERFLIES IN HIS BELLY BEFORE THE GAME STARTS
PLAY ACTION ON POQUETTE FIELD
THE CHEERLEADERS PUT ON THEIR HALF TIME SHOW
MOVE YOUR CURSER OVER THE CHEERLEADERS TO KNOCK THEM DOWN
THE OFFICIALS CONFERENCE TO DETERMINE THERE WAS NO PENELTY AND THEY PICK UP THE FLAG
DEE JOSEPHI CHECKS TO SEE IF THE BALL IS OUT OF BOUNDS
JOE SIEHR HAD THE LEADING NUMBER OF SACKS FOR THE DAY
XPFL ANNOUNCERS TIM LADE AND DAVE POQUETTE AT THE MICROPHONES
THE CHEERLEADERS GET THE HALF TIME SHOW STRAIGHT WHILE THEY BURN SMOKES BETWEEN CHEERS
ANNOUNCERS MIKE PICKETT AND DAVE POQUETTE ARE RIVETED AT A CRITICAL PART OF THE GAME
THE WINNING TEAM POSES FOR PUBLICITY PHOTOS AFTER THE GAME
