The trans-dimensional  plain and the turf license.

I  am not a Packers season ticket holder, I have no need to be one. I can, and do, attend every game.  On any given game day,  I tweak myself into such a massive, malt liquor fueled, football frenzy that I acquire the ability to go "out of body".  Usually about 30 minutes before kickoff.  From there, I watch the game via "remote viewing".

Basically,  remote viewing allows your spiritual being to leave your body and travel to a specific local.   (For detailed info on remote viewing, see  What I usually do, is hover about the stadium and locker rooms.  During game time, most of my time is spent about 10 feet over the field.  Don't bother asking me about pre-game locker room talks, that time is spent in the cheerleaders locker room,  hey I'm a sports nut, but I'm not NUTS!

I have the best seat in the house, and at a reasonable cost.  My only real expense being the semi truck of Schlitz malt liquor delivered the night before the game.  (My lucrative career as a sports journalist covers the majority of that expense.)

Great seats indeed, but if you're not careful, it can be be painful!  Did you ever wonder why some of Farve's passes fly off in a seemingly random direction?  Almost as if they were possessed?  Well, even through my actual body is'nt on the field, my astral being is. It is usually impervious to physical contact.  However, a Farve pass is thrown so fast, it can break through the metaphysical envelope and be deflected by entities in the trans-dimensional plain.  That be... like... me!  Who would have thunk it?   Me, a trans-dimensional entity!  I've been called worse.

This is another testament to the greatness of Bret Farve.  While I have been hit by Farve bullets almost a dozen times, only one other player has broken this barrier, and that was a fluke.  Back in 85, late into a blow out loss,  I nodded off for a bit...  I suddenly awoken, just in time to notice that my nose was just inches away from the business end of Bucky Scribner's foot. Yeowh, that one hurt.     

Anyway, 'nuff said about that, I'm totally off the subject.  I want to talk about the season ticket holders, and the sizeable amount of money it takes to attend a game at Lambeau Field.  Adding insult to injury, they recently had to hand over a fistfuls of cash for a seat license. 1400 bucks is allot of jack for a working class fan. Not to discount the luxury boxes, but the heart and soul of the Packers are the men and women sitting in the bleachers.  -Joe sixpack.  Well, maybe we should call him Joe Twelvepack.  Anyway, I feel that they can shell out 1400 bucks for a seat license, then Tyrone "big bucks" Muscleneck Jr can afford many times that. 

For a turf license.

It's a simple and obvious plan.  Every player that earns his livelihood from using a tax payer supported ballpark, (that would include almost every stadium in all of pro sports) should have to kick back into the stadium fund.  A percentage of base pay per game.  I figure 5 percent would be more then fair. (Bears pay extra.  For all those toll roads.  And dammit, just on general principle)  As for the players that never step on the field,  they would pay a lower rate.  -For a bench license.   

Hey, its only fair, every one else is paying their fair share.  I guess that's what it is.  Their fair share!  Like when my grandma stops at the super market for a carton of milk, its only fair that she should kick in from her social security income to help rebuild Lambeau Field.  Its a good thing, other wise, on a beautiful fall Sunday afternoon you would have fifty-three (multi) million airs, pumped up on steroids and painkillers, cruising around town in SUV's and Lexis'es, with nothing to do.  ...And looking for someone to "hit", I'd bet ya.  Yes, I think it's best that we build 'em new stadium.  But, hey, can't they help out a little bit?       

By S. Lyle OConnor